[poppa smurf]

I hate "bedding day"......you know the day the old girl say's "it's time to turf out the bedbugs and empty out the dead skin".

our mattress is a queen size, double pillow top, which means it weighs around 3.2 tonne and takes up 3 football fields.

now ole Poppa aint getting any younger nor fitter and lately this is becoming a near impossibility, to flip and turn the thing sends shivers down my spine, most times I end up under the mattress screaming for help, just my leg and a hand poking out from underneath in a pitiful plea for assistance, which won't be answered as "she has "other" things to attend to, thus leaving me with the mattress, with a mind of it's own, triumphant and completely in control.

then comes the ritual stuffing of the doona into the very large, ornate cover, I end up laying on the floor inside the cover with doona standing on the bed laughing at me and assorted sections hanging from the ceiling fan.

then after endless hours of absolute physical and mental daring and untold manipulation, along with tears and begging, the bed is finished........only to find that night that the spot where my backside used to reside is now underneath and my very comfy, worn in section for my shoulders is gone, to be replaced with an unfamiliar, hard, unfriendly section of bedding that defies all attempts at comfortability which takes a minimum of a week to muscle back in.

then of course it's ......"darling it's bedding day"!..................I hate bloody bedding day.