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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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18-04-2007, 07:28 PM | #1 | ||
Cane Farmer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tom Price, WA
Posts: 4,056
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So,
Lately my girlfriend of two years has been acting strange, really strange. But mainly noticible this weekend. SO I get home from fishing on saturday night and she says "oh, I'm going out with a friend tonight." Yeah yeah I'm fine with that, just be quiet when ya get home. SO I ask who she is going with and she stutters a bit and says 'Josh' I said whos he. she said an old friend, I trust her so I accept it, fine see ya later. Anyway, she leaves at 9. I get this text from a mate at midnight saying, 'I just saw your gf with some guy alone driving' mmm getting a bit suss now. So I get my mate to suss things out, he followed them for a bit until the car went to a dark lookout on a range road, he just kept driving and texted me what he saw. Even more suss now. Anyway she gets home at 4 in the morning, jumps into bed. I wake up in the morning and ask her what she got up to, she started getting all nervy, and said some crap like she went clubbing and stuff. SO I thought ok, I'll play along see what happens. All day long sunday she is clutching her mobile, texting every 5 mins, talking on it. And really didnt want anything to do with me. Monday morning comes, ok I thought I'll take a look at her phone...Where is it?? She took it into the shower with her!!! So the whole week has been the same, really secretive...jumpy, etc. And tonight about 20 mins ago, she says she is going out with 'Josh' again and she doesnt know when she'll be home...I texted n said 'where are you' and she texted back and said 'car park near the bike tracks at the uni' I know for a fact cos I ride bikes that it's very dark there, etc etc Anyway, I've never had to deal with something like this before and I'm at loss of what to do??? Do I go to where they are and do a bit of a stakeout? I'm gonna be devostated if she is doing anything....but from what I can see is happening, it's doesn't seem good. Advice anyone, please! |
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18-04-2007, 07:31 PM | #2 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 130
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go to the bike track catch her out
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18-04-2007, 07:33 PM | #3 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Perth
Posts: 481
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yep I'd go stake her out, better you find out for yourself now than live in doubt for a while until (if something is happening) she leaves you.
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18-04-2007, 07:44 PM | #4 | ||
Burning Up 98 Octane
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 821
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Check up, confront, ing_sm her out: him, move on : find someone who appreciates you. Sound way to suss to me.
Good luck.
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Better to die on your feet then live on your knees
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18-04-2007, 07:44 PM | #5 | ||
Has Blue Blood
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,551
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Mate , Dont do the stake out thing . Next time your both home , sit her down and straight out ask her, "Whats Wrong ?" . Be nice about it and explain that comunication is very important in a relationship! Better you ask and her and hear it from her than worrying about it for god knows how long !I once had this exact same thing happen to me , and it turns out she was organising a suprise party for me . Of course I have had the same thing happen and turned out she was with another guy for the wrong reasons !
Its better to find out now and sort it out than worry for ages and have her fooling around on you ! Girls that fool around on you are a waste of your time !
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Real cars dont wear bowties I'm not arrogent , Just superior
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18-04-2007, 07:48 PM | #6 | ||
1967 XR Falcon
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: South Coast
Posts: 2,231
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Its blatently obvious. I was in almost the exact same situation in february after a 3 year relationship. Get her before she gets you. And like 1QWKF6 said, find someone who will appreciate you. At first it feels like **** knowing whats going on, but once your free and start to get female attention you wonder why you ever stayed there.
For personal satisfaction, id kick the **** out of Josh, but its probably not the smartest thing to do.
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18-04-2007, 07:52 PM | #7 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 8,303
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18-04-2007, 07:55 PM | #8 | ||
low wagooon
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Swan Hill
Posts: 1,579
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I had this same prob to after a 2 year relationship.
You have to options with it: 1. Try catch her doing somethin she shouldn't. If possible get a mate to take you because she will know your car or 2. Just sit her down and try get it out of her. Its gunna be hard but mate you can pull through it. Just spend money on the car lol
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Webby
S2 AU XR6 UTE |
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18-04-2007, 08:06 PM | #9 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Adelaide Nthn suburbs
Posts: 546
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Mate if she is acting sus and hiding stuff from you, it's time to pull the pin, otherwise you will never be able to trust her again, looking over your shoulder and wondering.
Like all the other who said the same stuff has happened to them, they are all signs. Better you pull the pin and move on, she will never be the same again. The shock will make her maybe suckup to you to get back together but then she can pull the pin on you and the shock will be worse cos you didnt expect it. Whatever happens, good luck.
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Quote: Originally Posted by XCPWSF Is there portable speed cameras? Because coming home from school I noticed a cop sitting on the corner, with some box with buttons and knobs, with wires running into one of the big gum trees. Just practicing with the Tazer on a Koala? |
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18-04-2007, 08:08 PM | #10 | ||
Cane Farmer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tom Price, WA
Posts: 4,056
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Pulling the pin is hard...Situation is she lives with me and my parents, works in cairns...and her parents live about 60km away in port douglas...so if I leave her...she is pretty much screwed...n I'm not about to ruin her chances in her career n stuff...
I dunno...Seems like I'm in a pickle |
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18-04-2007, 08:19 PM | #11 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 447
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Mate,
I dont know you, or the total situation, but I know that you asked for people's advice and now you dont want to use it? I dont mean to sound like a 'a55hole' or anything, but if this is how you treat her and do everything for her and wipe her bottom... Im not suggesting anything, for all you know it is innocent, but cmon... Reverse the roles... Why would you start acting funny? Hiding your phone. How would she react if you went out with your old female friend from High School and were out all night? I WOULD BE PEAKING!! But honesty rules... Sit her down and ask straight out... If she states that all is fine, I would turn arrogant and take her phone then and there... After all, if its innocent, she has nothing to worry about... Right? Why dont you take her out for dinner or a movie (her choice), go home and play your (couples) favourite song and dance to it... If she is beginning to stray (for whatever reason), last chance is to spark to flame that made you a couple in the first place... Maybe I just rambled... Just trying to help !! Goodluck! |
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19-04-2007, 10:51 AM | #12 | |||
Be the Reds!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 111
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18-04-2007, 08:21 PM | #13 | |||
1967 XR Falcon
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: South Coast
Posts: 2,231
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Quote:
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19-04-2007, 09:06 AM | #14 | |||
inconceivable!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 517
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Quote:
If she doesn't respect you enough to honest and up front about things why should you live in misery just because it's more convenient for her to be living with you for her career! GROW SOME NADS MAN!!!!! : |
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19-04-2007, 03:40 PM | #15 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,119
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18-04-2007, 08:11 PM | #16 | ||
Barra Turbo > V8
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 26,080
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Yeah stake her out mate, in your mates car 'catch' her out then you have all you need although it wont be pleasent what you might see if she does that you can find someone better then her
Good luck mate
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-2011 XR6 Turbo Ute - Lux Pack - M6 -2022 Hyundai Tucson Highlander Diesel N Line |
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18-04-2007, 08:20 PM | #17 | ||
Central to all beach's
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alice Springs
Posts: 1,653
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Didn't we go through this about 6 months ago BUCKET are you there?? This guy needs some of your newly found knowledge.
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Real Aussie muscle cars have a clutch!! http://www.roadsense.com.au/about.html |
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19-04-2007, 10:41 AM | #18 | |||
XR5 Pilot
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Perth, Ex NSW
Posts: 1,455
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Quote:
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'08 Ford Mondeo XR5 in Thunder |
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19-04-2007, 11:32 AM | #19 | |||
XR5 Pilot
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Perth, Ex NSW
Posts: 1,455
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Quote:
OK, My advice... Don't stake her out...If she is doing this behind your back you'll scar yourself permanently if you see what she's up to. If not, well you dont want her to see you spying on her because that will destroy the trust you have in your relationship (admittedly, it looks like its a little shot at the moment anyway) Like others have said, sit her down- tell her your observations from the beginning. What you have SEEN how she has reacted and what you dont want to believe but want to ask...you need a water tight case. If it is the case..if she has been cheating, ask her if she wants to continue down this path with "Josh" *cough* ****er *cough*...if she says no, put the ball in her court...ask here what she suggests she should do if she wants to recover the relationship...your on your own at this point. I can't tell you what to do...your history with her and your heart will dictate that. If she does want to continue with "Josh" *cough* ****er *cough* Be the Gentleman, take the Couch and suggest she be packed and gone by this time the next night.. Don't stand for it. Mate...I know exactly how you are feeling now...my ex was messaging her new guy when I was on the phone to her...thats right...she would ask me to stop talking and message the tool (whom i shall never respect as a man) then she would go and meet him with her friend at all times of the night...anyway...if you need to talk, PM Me...we have a fair bit in common judging by your Av Title...
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'08 Ford Mondeo XR5 in Thunder |
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19-04-2007, 03:47 PM | #20 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,119
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Quote:
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18-04-2007, 08:22 PM | #21 | ||
Starter Motor
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 19
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You should get her to go on the Dr Phil show.
He'll tell her how it is. |
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18-04-2007, 08:33 PM | #22 | ||
Ford Fanatic
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,480
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chances are 'josh" does not know about you. Get Josh's number and call him yourself.
I'll bet you are actually according to him nothing more than flatmates
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Everyone is entitled to my Opinion 2007 Territory TX SY RWD Ego |
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18-04-2007, 08:34 PM | #23 | ||
Whipper Snappa
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SA
Posts: 1,192
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Put your foot down and either ask her or find out for yourself. It aint good to be living like that....
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*insert witty quote* |
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18-04-2007, 08:34 PM | #24 | ||
Speed Demon
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 88
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Definately go with the talk - stakeouts and confrontations are best left for American tv shows (yes, Cheaters!). Besides, if you caught her in the act you may do something you'll regret - and she's not worth getting into trouble for (assualt charge etc.) if she is in fact cheating.
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XRCISM (aka Mrs BOG) ..... Out of the Kitchen and onto the race track!! |
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18-04-2007, 08:44 PM | #25 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 476
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Mabye shes paying you back for going fishing :
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18-04-2007, 08:45 PM | #26 | ||
Lucifer's Angel
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
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Yeah sit and talk with her. Tell her how you feel about the situation (calmly), and ask if she wants to continue the relationship, or move on.
I find it weird that she told you she was out in a dark isolated place with him though. If she was doing something wrong, wouldn't she lie?
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SINISTER BA XR6 Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!
If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford... It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford |
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18-04-2007, 08:55 PM | #27 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane North
Posts: 1,994
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Just talk to her about it, prepare a nice meal at home, get a bottle of wine, have a good old chat to her about things, and then just ask the hard questions... and they will be hard to ask, and even harder for her to answer honestly... you will know from her body language if the truth is coming out....
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18-04-2007, 09:21 PM | #28 | |||
Like no other..........
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Over here.... Mod:FPV & XR Owners Club of Victoria
Posts: 1,016
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Quote:
You have automatically assumed she is cheating - therein itself lies a trust issue- and I'm talking about you not her..... stand up, be a man for gods sake, say you feel uncomfortable about the un-intentional secrecy and ask her. I'm not saying it will be easy, but why automatically assume it's goin' on without even doing the adult thing....... Don't get me wrong if she is being unfaithful then you have every right to tear her a new one, but make sure you have all your facts coz' it's a big big call to make....... Good luck
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A recent study found the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found Australians drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud to be an aussie. |
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18-04-2007, 09:09 PM | #29 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,359
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Change the locks next time she's out.
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18-04-2007, 09:35 PM | #30 | ||
.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 6,197
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The only advice I can give is that your life sucks. Fix it.
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