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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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26-12-2005, 10:15 PM | #1 | ||
BOLLOCKS
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: half way between here and retirement
Posts: 1,861
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I rang my sister in Victoria on xmas day to wish her a merry one and she told me a classic her grandson came out with. It was xmas eve and her grandson, 4 y.o was playing up. His older sister, 7 y.o had a toy phone and pretended to ring santa to tell him not to bring any presents to her younger brother cause he was naughty. The 4 y.o grabbed the toy phone and said " you dont bring me presents, you can f@%k off santa". My sister said to the 4 y.o, you shouldnt talk to santa like that, to which 4 y.o replied, well he told me to f@#k off first.
Any body else got any classic kid comments to share.
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Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbit Vice President FPV & XR Club of Qld PROUD SPONSOR OF THE GOLD COAST ALL FORD DAY |
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26-12-2005, 10:20 PM | #2 | ||
Shoot.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,909
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LOL! I think he needs a clip around the ears!!
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20V Turbo |
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26-12-2005, 10:23 PM | #3 | |||
BOLLOCKS
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: half way between here and retirement
Posts: 1,861
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Quote:
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Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbit Vice President FPV & XR Club of Qld PROUD SPONSOR OF THE GOLD COAST ALL FORD DAY |
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26-12-2005, 10:28 PM | #4 | ||
Lucifer's Angel
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
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I was waiting in a queue in a shopping centre restroom one day with some friends, and the lady in front of us had her young son with her. She took him into the cubicle with her and just as everyone outside fell silent, her son piped up and asked her:
"Mummy? Why do you have hair on your bottom?" The 10 or so of us standing outside were desperately trying not to laugh out loud. When the woman emerged from the cubicle she could plainly see everyone turning red and trying to not to look at her since the other three walls were mirrored.
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SINISTER BA XR6 Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!
If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford... It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford |
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26-12-2005, 10:37 PM | #5 | ||
Supercharged Mang-mobile
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Behind the wheel
Posts: 1,792
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LMAO that one woulda been hillarious!
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09/00 VX HSV XU6 Build #0001 of 0171 http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209 -- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16 Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP -- Factory Manual -- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway |
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26-12-2005, 10:46 PM | #6 | ||
Back in Blue!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nearish Canberraish
Posts: 176
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hah, the boss bought his kid a happy meal one day, and little lachlan found to his disgust that they had left the toy out. His reaction? "Daddy, I'll kill the c**nts!" lol, I wonder where he picked that up. :-)
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Previous Ride 1: XE wagon 4.1 on LPG - RIP Previous Ride 2: VN Berlina wagon 5.0 EFI Current Ride : EF XR6 wagon (Manual!) Back in Blue baby! |
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26-12-2005, 11:28 PM | #7 | |||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 209
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27-12-2005, 12:43 AM | #8 | ||
GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
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was in a shoe shop my wifes idea and my wife was trying on about 50 000 pairs of shoes . i had my son and daughter with us . my son who was 4 last year hated being in the shop , he often spits the dummy in womens shops ( know how he feels ) any how 2 girls were assisting my wife when my son starts complaining of a belly ache. he runs up to my wife and says . WE HAVE TO GO NOW MUM I HAVE A VERY BAD BELLY ACHE . WIFE SAYS SHOW ME WHERE IT HURTS . YOUNG SON PULLS SHIRT UP AND POINTS TO HIS BELT LINE JUST BELOW HIS BELLY BUTTON . RIGHT THERE HE SAYS WHERE MY BRAINS ARE. WE ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING .
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27-12-2005, 12:58 AM | #9 | ||
Miami Pilot
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ACT
Posts: 21,704
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My twins were a bit less than 2 when Jason Richards (I think) barrel rolled his Holden. The boys said "Car Broken". and I said "No it's not a car, it's a Holden", to which one replied "Holden broken". Now, some 6 months on, whenever they see any damage to a car (road car, race car, whatever), they say "Holden Broken". Usually followed by "Daddy fix it?", to which my reply is "It's not worth fixing a Holden", but I don't think they understand just yet.
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The Hammer: FG GTE | 376rwkw | 1/4 mile 11.793 @ 119.75mph 1.733 60' (4408lb) 1 of 60 FG MK1 335 GTEs (1 of 118 FG Mk 1 & 2 335 GTEs). Mods: Tune, HSD/ShockWorks, black GT335 19” staggered replicas with 245 & 275/35/19 Michelin Pilot sport 5s Daily: BF2 Fairmont Ghia I6 ZF, machine face GT335 19” staggered Replicas with 245s and 275s, Bilsteins & Kings FPV 335 build stats: <click here> Ford Performance Club ACT |
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27-12-2005, 09:06 AM | #10 | ||
iRegular crossmember
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: in good 'ol WA
Posts: 621
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when i was little one of my parents neighbours came over, my mum didnt like him much, but still let him over and pretended to be his mate. i walked up and said " shayne, mum says your a ****er!" i didnt have a clue what i did.
asked an over weight person if they were pregnant, when my mum was pregnant.
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1996 EF XR6 5 spd manual 2 1/2" manta S/S exhaust After market alpine/soundstream stereo 18" tyhpoons superlows waiting to go in.... spoilerless |
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27-12-2005, 12:42 PM | #11 | ||
Donating Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Hunter Valley
Posts: 4,288
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Our 5 yo in the car at traffic lights last Friday to the car in front. "Aww cmon, there green, GOOO!!!"
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27-12-2005, 12:54 PM | #12 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 664
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At the Boxing Day relly bash one of my lazy uncles was complaining over and over about his swollen knee injured recently at golf. Eddie my four year old walked past and said " your knee hurts cause you're fat ". Silence.
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http://www.carformance.com.au/ |
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28-12-2005, 10:34 AM | #13 | ||||
Adapt or perish...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dip!@#$
Posts: 7,954
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Quote:
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Carless
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27-12-2005, 02:17 PM | #14 | ||
I am a Princess!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 141
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My 7 year old boy was told at school that Santa was not real and it was the parents that brought the christmas presents. He thought about this for awhile and replied very seriously "No way can that be true, because there is noway on earth that my mum and dad could afford the XBOX we got last Christmas. We keep telling him we are broke so he is now 10 and still believes in Santa.
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27-12-2005, 02:23 PM | #15 | |||
Donating Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,064
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Young kids using the "c" and "f" words is disgraceful in my opinion.
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02 BA XR6 T U R B O Venom Red, Auto 13.97 @ 101mph Quote:
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27-12-2005, 03:14 PM | #16 | |||
The Goodz' PR Manager
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 1,455
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Quote:
We had a couple of little kids here with their father one day, so I took them into the kitchen and got them a drink and they sat down... then one of them said to me "My Mummy did a s h i t fart in the car today!" I still have no idea what it meant, I'm quite scared to find out really! |
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27-12-2005, 05:40 PM | #17 | |||
Back in Blue!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nearish Canberraish
Posts: 176
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Quote:
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Previous Ride 1: XE wagon 4.1 on LPG - RIP Previous Ride 2: VN Berlina wagon 5.0 EFI Current Ride : EF XR6 wagon (Manual!) Back in Blue baby! |
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27-12-2005, 06:03 PM | #18 | |||
meow
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
What is needed is a quick firm slap. |
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27-12-2005, 06:13 PM | #19 | |||
Back in Blue!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nearish Canberraish
Posts: 176
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Quote:
Anyway, a slightly more innocent one. When I was really young, we used to live in the city, until about the age of three the only animal I'd ever seen was a cat. Anyway, when we moved out to Bungendore, and every time we drove past a paddock full of sheep/cows I'd yell out, "look mummy, look daddy, cats!" Took a loooong time for them to convince me that "cat" was not an accurate description for every four legged animal in existence. Every bloody christmas without fail, someone will pull that anecdote out. :
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Previous Ride 1: XE wagon 4.1 on LPG - RIP Previous Ride 2: VN Berlina wagon 5.0 EFI Current Ride : EF XR6 wagon (Manual!) Back in Blue baby! |
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27-12-2005, 10:53 PM | #20 | |||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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28-12-2005, 01:38 AM | #21 | ||
Has Blue Blood
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,551
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Now sourbastard, You and I both know that you are not slapping him for doing anything wrong! You just want to slap someone !!!!!!!!!!!!
:evil_laug
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Real cars dont wear bowties I'm not arrogent , Just superior
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28-12-2005, 09:35 AM | #22 | |||
meow
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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27-12-2005, 03:52 PM | #23 | ||
windsor user
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
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haha im laughing hard here, love hearing what kids come out with!
although its not nice some of the stuff littlies come out with.......its hard not to laugh! |
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27-12-2005, 10:40 PM | #24 | ||
GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
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this is slightly related i guess .
we had a pet bird scaley breasted lorikeet. one day abouyt 1 year ago i sprayed it with lice spray . 2 hours later it died . i was beside myself .now my 5 year old son sometimes prays at the dinner table and before bed . he always mentions how we miss "NALA" . spoils my appetite. |
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28-12-2005, 10:27 AM | #25 | ||
Ute Forum Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melb
Posts: 7,227
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When my cousin was young (about 4, not really sure) and living in the country, Grandma asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she said “Grandpa is going to get me 2 black chooks”. It certainly gave Grandma a laugh, and sure enough she did get the chooks too.
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28-12-2005, 10:37 AM | #26 | ||
~~~
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: At your U.B.
Posts: 2,099
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About 6 months ago my cousin and his parents had been overseas and had visited my nanna and pop. Afte they had got back I was doing the whole excitment thing and asking my cousin who is 3 what he'd done oversea's. I said to him did you go and visit nan and pop? ' yeassss' ' what have nan and pop been up to?' ' Weellllllll nan is out doing the gardens and pop is just eating all the food!' I had to laugh at that one because it is probably true!
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28-12-2005, 11:07 AM | #27 | ||
70 Mercury Eliminator
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NSW
Posts: 822
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Ok its more action than words but Ill share a recent experience with my 3yr old.
We wanted to sell my wife's laser so after washing it, polishishing, vacuming and completely detailing everything, I took my son with me to go around a few dealers to see what 'magical' price they were prepared to offer. I was standing there talking to the salesman and just as I was asking him how much he would give me for it, we turned around and saw Jacob having fun drawing on the doors with a rock!. I kid you not, I was so embarassed we just left. Then on radio station Nova 969 Merrick and Rosso had a talkback segment "Is your child posessed by the Devil". I thought hell yeah on that day he was, so I rang in and they were pi**ing themselves so much they gave the wife and I a free night at the Vibe hotel in Sydney. So anyway, it worked out alright and it will be a good story for his 21st.
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The World is FORDS! |
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28-12-2005, 11:38 AM | #28 | ||
MIS351
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 13
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You guys might find this one funny: When my little sister was 3 and going thru the toilet training thing, having 5 older brothers and sisters all in their teens one of us would take her to the loo when she needed to go. One day it was my turn so I took her in, she did her thing, flushed the toilet the put the toilet seat UP. Figured one of my brothers must have shown her that and it didn't take long to find out who, tho they all cracked up when I had a go at them. I made sure she new to leave it down after that.
She also used to call a washing machine a washy-washy-mean, i thought that was cute. When that song say my name by destiny's child was out, she was singing it one day: "say my name, say my name. WHATS MY NAME B**CH!" She was sitting on a chair one day in my miniskirt which was a dress on her (she liked playing dress ups in it), and no underwear with her legs up so I could see her bum. I told her to put her legs down so no-one could see her bum, her reply "you don't want to look at my stinky butt it smells". |
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28-12-2005, 05:57 PM | #29 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: brisbane
Posts: 2,039
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My son all ways watches me when i do the laundry, so one day after i had put it on and left the room he got his little chair stood on it and proceeded to put the whole box of laundry powder in.While i was relating the story to his father and getting angry and his father giving him a stern look, he said in a plain voice i love you mummy,very much.The way he said it i wished i could have fallen into a big hole and dissappeared. You just have to love them.
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