Dating 2006 - A girls view

Poison Ivy · 03-07-2006, 02:55 PM

I’ve been lurking around this site for ages but felt the need to sign up & post what my thoughts are in regards to dating in 2006 for us ladies, considering the majority of the population of this site are males, I’d like to know what you think about the following.

I’ve been on a few dates recently & I must say, I’m pretty disappointed about the effort or lack there of that is displayed by men these days.

I’m a single woman who is in her mid 20’s, I have a good job, a nice car, great friends & family, I have a stable job & I’m honest & upfront, I have no baggage & a great sense of humor but yet I find it harder & harder to meet a guy who wants to put in the effort to get to know me before he starts thinking below the belt.

What has happened to the days when guys asked girls out? When a guy picks a girl up from her house & drops her off without expecting something else? Are these days dead? What has happened to dating?

I think it would be nice for a guy to put some effort in. And when I say effort I mean, nice clean clothes, a shave, aftershave or cologne, deodorant (this should not be an effort but surprisingly to some it is). Is this asking too much? I don’t think so because I’m sure if a girl turned up to a date without any deodorant on the guy would be doing a runner in no time.

I’ve also noticed a rapid decrease in guys having the guts to ask a girl out, who gives a rats if you get rejected, at least you’re giving it a go, 9 times out of 10 I’m sure the girl will be flattered & say yes. If it doesn’t work out, don’t dismiss the girl, she might have a friend who is ideal for you. I have set up many friends, that have turned into long term relationships or marriages but if a guy acts like a jerk or treats me disrespectfully there’s no way I’d want to set him up with someone else.

So single guys out there, please shed some light on what your thoughts are on what I’ve said, because I’m rapidly starting to think that there are no decent single gentlemen out there anymore. And before anyone says I’m after a metrosexual, no that is not what I want, I just want a guy who thinks that its worth a little extra effort to impress a girl.

03-07-2006, 02:59 PM

Great Great Question....

My opinion is
(1) I'd pick you up and drop you off.!!!! and have a shave and wear deo... 100%
(hows this friday sound)

TheSneakiness · 03-07-2006, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

9 times out of 10 I’m sure the girl will be flattered & say yes.

When you look like me, it's the absolute opposite...

Poison Ivy · 03-07-2006, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUII_SE_Ute

When you look like me, it's the absolute opposite...

I think thats a little harsh on yourself.

GreenMachine · 03-07-2006, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

I think thats a little harsh on yourself.

Yeah Kenny... I'd do ya, if you wore deodorant and picked me up and dropped me off...

fiery · 03-07-2006, 03:46 PM

Poison Ivy it is hard to 'date' now and it is getting harder and harder to find a guy that is interested in you as a person and not what you can do for him etc.

I too had been on heaps of dates this year and most of them are simply out to get you in the sack....I could tell you some horror dating stories but then I don't think I want to relive them :evil_laug

I thought it was hard simply because being a single parent and mid 30s so it is kind of nice to know maybe its the same for those that are in their 20s too.. I don't mean that in a nasty way either...

Don't give up hope that you will find a nice guy.. It will happen eventually.

Kenny there is nothing wrong with the way you look..... Don't be so silly..

TheSneakiness · 03-07-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiery

Kenny there is nothing wrong with the way you look..... Don't be so silly..

I suppose... but I'm going to be wary of old mate Nick now...

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenMachine

Yeah Kenny... I'd do ya, if you wore deodorant and picked me up and dropped me off...

Anyway, up here on the Shunshine Coast, females are far too high maintenance, bought up on the OC wave and expect guys to look like the morons on Big Brother.

ClassicAU · 03-07-2006, 04:28 PM

DJL351, i know exactly how you feel!!
i find that being a nice guy has ALWAYS landed me as 'just a friend' and nothing more. i am not vain by a long shot, but i do take pride in my appearance. i only do this to make me feel good about myself, and not becuase i am out to show off or anything. but i do find that being physically attractive helps a fair bit, as i do fall a bit short in that department. i have been told that i have too much respect for women, if there is such a thing, and that is why i can never get out of the 'friend zone'. i just found that being nice got me walked all over is all.....
i have a pretty good job in the city, i am always cutious, i try and find out about who a woman is before anything else, but unfortunatly because of my looks i hardly get the chance to show who i really am

DJL351 · 03-07-2006, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassicAU

DJL351, i know exactly how you feel!!
i find that being a nice guy has ALWAYS landed me as 'just a friend' and nothing more. i am not vain by a long shot, but i do take pride in my appearance. i only do this to make me feel good about myself, and not becuase i am out to show off or anything. but i do find that being physically attractive helps a fair bit, as i do fall a bit short in that department. i have been told that i have too much respect for women, if there is such a thing, and that is why i can never get out of the 'friend zone'. i just found that being nice got me walked all over is all.....
i have a pretty good job in the city, i am always cutious, i try and find out about who a woman is before anything else, but unfortunatly because of my looks i hardly get the chance to show who i really am

Yes.... the "Friend".... the shoulder to cry on when the newest BF kicks her in the guts.
Then you do the right thing, help her all that jazz only to be told "why aren't all guys like you?" or "I wish I could find someone like you!"

: I'm standing in front of you!
Or watching her go back to the same clown that slept with her best friend... but he "has changed".

Smoke Pursuit · 03-07-2006, 03:40 PM

Yeh I dunno.

Sounds like you would be an easy girl to please (aftershave/good presentation) lol.

Most of the decent chicks i know are already happily taken, which is fair enough, those who arent are usually too sky high for me!

Poison Ivy · 03-07-2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSTerritoryGhia

Yeh I dunno.

Sounds like you would be an easy girl to please (aftershave/good presentation) lol.

Most of the decent chicks i know are already happily taken, which is fair enough, those who arent are usually too sky high for me!

If thats easy to please then why don't guys put the effort in to do it?

I know a lot of decent women who are not taken who are what I guess you'd call the girl next door types.

blueoval · 03-07-2006, 03:41 PM

If I was single man again, I would definitely try to be that kind of guy. I would prefer to impress as first impressions last. I think its pure galantry if you can show a girl your worth and let them know there is whole lot more to you than what you can provide sexually! Thats just opinion though.

*shav puts flame suit on*

Poison Ivy · 03-07-2006, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueoval

If I was single man again, I would definitely try to be that kind of guy. I would prefer to impress as first impressions last. I think its pure galantry if you can show a girl your worth and let them know there is whole lot more to you than what you can provide sexually! Thats just opinion though.

*shav puts flame suit on*

You shouldn't have to put a flame suit on, a guy should try and impress a women just as a woman should try and impress a man...it works 2 ways, unfortunately lately it seems its just a one way street.

blueoval · 03-07-2006, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

You shouldn't have to put a flame suit on, a guy should try and impress a women just as a woman should try and impress a man...it works 2 ways, unfortunately lately it seems its just a one way street.

That is true, but its like what EDMONTY has just said, nice guys generally finish last.

There are a lot of nice guys out there, it depends on where you meet, how you meet and the circumstances that will usually initiate whether you will end up on a good date. Not all the time, but generally most times. :newangel:

DJL351 · 03-07-2006, 04:21 PM

I gave up rather quickly with the "Meat Markets" (aka pubs and clubs)

When you stand out in a crowd like I do women run in the oposite direction.
(6 foot 7ish and 120+ Kgs)

In the end I got sick of being laughed @ and put down by these girls that felt that
I was below their levels. (standards)

I gave the internet dating a go. Worked great for me.
Girls got to know me, understand me and what not before we met.
I got to woo them and show them that SOME blokes are still bought up the right way.
Yes, photos were exchanged after we had been chatting for a while, so no one was walking in to something they couldn't see.

I was lucky enough to meet a couple of great ladies on Lavalife- RSVP & Yahoo Personals.
Some I still chat to from time to time.... I even had a couple willingly "waiting" incase the relationship I was in didn't workout or last.
(not bad I thought.... for a "fat pr*ck" as some of the nightclub girls used to call me)
There are a few "weirdos" on there... that is for sure but they are not hard to spot.
Internet dating can work.... it did for me, got hitched to one in Feb this year.

Poison Ivy - What you are "looking" for is not over the top or unreasonable. (ie: Clean, neat & tidy)

Dazza XLT · 03-07-2006, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJL351

I gave up rather quickly with the "Meat Markets" (aka pubs and clubs)

When you stand out in a crowd like I do women run in the oposite direction.
(6 foot 7ish and 120+ Kgs)

In the end I got sick of being laughed @ and put down by these girls that felt that
I was below their levels. (standards)

I found a lot of girls were way too quick to judge me on my looks, instead of everything else!

: Just cause I didn't look like Gaelan from Big Brother

: .
I was always getting the "You're like a brother to me" crap. :gren:
You're dead right though, I am also 6foot something and 120 odd kg...
Had no success at the meat market either. Met my missus while at a Deb ball partnering another girl. And it has progressed from there.

**TUF_302** · 03-07-2006, 08:44 PM

Im a nice bloke, thats probably why ive been in a relationship for the last 7 months.

:

Bluefreak · 04-07-2006, 09:44 PM

Funny you should bring this up, was discussing this very sort of thing on Sat night. In my experience, girls have been less than impressed with the effort/chivalry/mind above the waist line approach and the same was voiced by other guy's on the night. I can't tell you how many times I've been served with the STFU and come here routine. I have stayed friends with several of them and they are decent women, NOT cheap whore types. All of us guy's came to the conclusion, based on our own experiences, that women(even good, decent women) seem to have moved away from exactly what you state is missing... THEY are insisting on getting the ball rolling in a very matter of fact way.

brenx · 03-07-2006, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

You shouldn't have to put a flame suit on, a guy should try and impress a women just as a woman should try and impress a man...it works 2 ways, unfortunately lately it seems its just a one way street.

I think it would be better to not try and impress as such. Best be and act as normal. Men/women would soon tire (let their guard down) of trying to impress then the other gets disappointed.

Summary : Be what you are and not what you try to be.

I know plenty that would do what you like. Eventually the money runs out and reality kicks back in. Then they return to their normal behaviour.

Maybe your looking in the wrong place for a partner of your liking?

I personally wouldn't change my behaviour for anyone. I am me. When I was separated from my wife I had a woman try and impress me. She would have done anything. After a short time I got to see the real her and I ran like hell. From my experience the grass isn't greener ;)

nb..From what I've seen these days a substantial amount of guys aren't getting into relationships or marrying young. Using my brother inlaw as an example he's just after 1 night stands. These days it's common to have many partners through out a year.

ps...If I knew what I know now. I'd be still single. Children are a good thing though

My two are priceless.

TURBO_GHIA · 03-07-2006, 03:48 PM

so whats your address ?? im up for a date.

in all seriousness ,i do all of that ,and always seem to come out second best ,i usually find all the decent chicks these days go for the drugo/bad boy image,most of the girls i know are all like this.they treat them like **** drive around in **** box's and generaly couldnt dress them selfs to get a job a macc'as let along a decent job.ive asked a few girls out and always seem to end up the same.they either dont call back or say they like someone else.so yeah once you have been rejected a few times it does get to you .so yeah thats my 2c .
nice guys always finish last

so what time do you want to be picked up... :-)

FordFan86 · 03-07-2006, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EDMONTY

in all seriousness ,i do all of that ,and always seem to come out second best ,i usually find all the decent chicks these days go for the drugo/bad boy image,most of the girls i know are all like this.they treat them like **** drive around in **** box's and generaly couldnt dress them selfs to get a job a macc'as let along a decent job.ive asked a few girls out and always seem to end up the same.they either dont call back or say they like someone else.so yeah once you have been rejected a few times it does get to you .so yeah thats my 2c .
nice guys always finish last

At least I'm not the only one who's noticed this.

:

MYVYSS · 03-07-2006, 03:48 PM

I totally understand your frustration there, however you will also find from a mans prospective, that many of the women available or out there looking for a decent type of man, are up against the likes of the women on Big Brother currently, so why go to so much effort when you can get a quick 1-4 night relationship as easy as the women on the show, like others if I was single again, I would most certainly look at getting to know the person I was courting prior to thinking about any of the hanky panky stuff..

XRchic · 03-07-2006, 03:48 PM

For the girl, buy a Ford, get on a Ford site, talk about Fords with all the guys, go racing with them and BINGO!

Worked for me! Hehe.

Youre halfway there already Poison Ivy!

Jac

FordFan86 · 03-07-2006, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

I think it would be nice for a guy to put some effort in. And when I say effort I mean, nice clean clothes, a shave, aftershave or cologne, deodorant (this should not be an effort but surprisingly to some it is). Is this asking too much? I don’t think so because I’m sure if a girl turned up to a date without any deodorant on the guy would be doing a runner in no time.

If a guy can't be bothered doing any of that, he's not worthy anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

I’ve also noticed a rapid decrease in guys having the guts to ask a girl out, who gives a rats if you get rejected, at least you’re giving it a go, 9 times out of 10 I’m sure the girl will be flattered & say yes. If it doesn’t work out, don’t dismiss the girl, she might have a friend who is ideal for you. I have set up many friends, that have turned into long term relationships or marriages but if a guy acts like a jerk or treats me disrespectfully there’s no way I’d want to set him up with someone else.

I think that's 9/10 they'll be flattered and say no. Do you know how hard it actually is to work yourself up to ask a girl out (approach her in person, with friends around, not sms or through mutual friends etc), and then have her say no? (not just random girls at pubs/clubs etc) Definately takes awhile before the guy approaches another girl.
It's a bit unnerving tho, when you ask a girl out, she says no, and says "hey this is ra ra"... no offence but I came to speak to you, not her.
I agree with the jerk comment as well, whether a girl says yes or no, take it on the chin and move on. She's sure to have friends or know people who know people who could know you & If you've shown you can approach a girl, be confident with yourself and her answer then other girls *should* think better of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

So single guys out there, please shed some light on what your thoughts are

As above, girls make it hard, guys don't help it either.
I've noticed most of my female friends are either older & it's friendship only, or they're not single and have been that way for sometime. It takes away the tension and makes them so much easier to speak to openly like a "mate"

Dazza XLT · 03-07-2006, 03:57 PM

Whatever happened to opening a door for a lady, or pulling out her chair for her to have a seat??? Thats something I haven't seen someone do for a long while...
Common courtesy.... It has gone missing somewhere let me tell you...
I am a bloke's bloke. But I still know how a woman should be treated while on a date.
Obviously too many blokes think too much with their wedding tackle.... I went out with my current girlfriend for nearly 9 months before anything happened below the belt.
We might just be different, I don't know! But it was not something we needed to rush into, we were happy going along with the relationship as it was!
We have been together now for 3 years, and I plan on marrying her in the near future!
Thats my $3.50 worth.

Welcome to the Forums too Poison Ivy!

blueoval · 03-07-2006, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darran

Whatever happened to opening a door for a lady, or pulling out her chair for her to have a seat??? Thats something I haven't seen someone do for a long while...
Common courtesy.... It has gone missing somewhere let me tell you...
I am a bloke's bloke. But I still know how a woman should be treated while on a date.
Obviously too many blokes think too much with their wedding tackle.... I went out with my current girlfriend for nearly 9 months before anything happened below the belt.
We might just be different, I don't know! But it was not something we needed to rush into, we were happy going along with the relationship as it was!
We have been together now for 3 years, and I plan on marrying her in the near future!
Thats my $3.50 worth.

Welcome to the Forums too Poison Ivy!

I married my girlfriend, now wife before we did anything below the belt. We went out for 3 years. You have no need to feel weird, I know where your coming from.

Dazza XLT · 03-07-2006, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueoval

I married my girlfriend, now wife before we did anything below the belt. We went out for 3 years. You have no need to feel weird, I know where your coming from.

Good stuff!

:

**Falcon Coupe** · 03-07-2006, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueoval

I married my girlfriend, now wife before we did anything below the belt. We went out for 3 years. You have no need to feel weird, I know where your coming from.

Strange fashion that, wearing a belt around the knees......

:

Van D · 03-07-2006, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darran

Whatever happened to opening a door for a lady, or pulling out her chair for her to have a seat??? Thats something I haven't seen someone do for a long while...
[/B][/I]

The chicks got peeved off and said they don't need men to open a door for them.

Seriously.. It's happened to me more than once. Even when there's absolutely nothing sexual etc involved (ie, at school/shopping centre) i've opened the door and let women go first and they have either grumbled, greased me, or said something along the lines of 'I don't need a man to open a door, I can do that myself'.. Well screw you, I was just taught good manners :jab:

Anywho, back on topic.

Poison Ivy · 03-07-2006, 04:05 PM

I think you'll find that nice guys don't finish last. I know at least 4 women who would be more than happy with a nice guy! Who wants a drugged up jerk who treats you like dirt?!? Not any of us!

Its just as hard for a girl to ask a guy out, so I know what you're talking about FordFan.