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13-08-2014, 02:06 AM | #1 | ||
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Its a bastard, and until you've been there, you don't really know.
Would you call a paraplegic a "lazy slob" for not walking? Or blame the problem on his addiction to wheel chairs? The problem with mental illness, is that it IS "all in your head." A depressed person does NOT see the glass as half-empty. They usually can't even see the glass. Try to imagine, if you can, a situation in which killing your self is the only viable option. Hard to even think of such a scenario?? Well that is the reality in which a depressed person lives.
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13-08-2014, 07:04 AM | #2 | ||
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You can't imagine what it like to have a mental illness. For whatever reason the brain gets sick and doesn't think logically. One thing it has shown me is how strong the mind is and how difficult it is to control when it gets sick.
The other problem with mental illness is that people cant see the illness so they don't understand whats going on. With a broken arm or most other illness' you can see whats going on but with mental illness you can't. Most are able to hide it as well.
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13-08-2014, 07:46 AM | #3 | ||
Just slidin'
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Its a funny thing really. People assume that because you are smiling or telling jokes everything is good. You dont LOOK depressed. But inside its killing you.
Depression is a dark spiral. People calling you lazy as you just cant get off the couch or out of bed. That just makes you spiral even faster as people are then seeing you as worthless when you already think you are. I struggled for 10 years before finally going to see a doctor. It was one of the hardest days of my life, but also one of the best. I still struggle to get up off the lounge or get outside, but I am getting there. I'm glad I really enjoy my job or I would struggle even more. It actually motivates me to get up and about. The hardest thing is talking about it. But once you do you feel a million dollars. If anyone asks these days I tell them the truth. 99% of people actually do care once I start talking. Even those that you wouldnt think they would. See a doctor, talk to someone, save your life.
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13-08-2014, 08:17 AM | #4 | ||
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This is spot on, it doesn't matter what it is. Depression, being bullied, raped etc seeking help is always the best policy. People always make excuses for those suffering and say its hard to get out and get help, hearing that its hard only makes it harder. What they should really be saying is once you seek help it gets better.
I often joke about suicide, many tell me I shouldn't as its a taboo subject, something that's they fell uncomfortable hearing. This is a decision I made after losing a friend who had been raped and became deeply depressed, only to air her laundry in her final letter. No one knew she had been raped or had depression and she stated that she felt it was all a hush hush subject and felt she had no one to approach. Since I don't treat it like some dirty little secret I've had several people come to me because they felt comfortable, if you can joke about something you can also discuss something. Mostly they have been girls as guys struggle more with coming forwards but a couple guys have approached me as well, including my own brother. I'm very tough love, can't get off the couch I'll come round and drag you out, sunshine is bliss. Ill try to find out what upsets them most and what gives them joy and try to help with one while focusing on the other. I don't pretend to know how to solve their problem either, just to bring a little joy into their lives, I get them to go to doctors for professional care which I am more than willing to accompany them if they wish.
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13-08-2014, 10:01 AM | #5 | ||
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having depression of any sort sucks majorly these days its not a problem for me although when it was it was tough when l was in a sad state l'd lose my appetite, sleep for eternity if l could and mostly be a couch potato, but what l'm finding even harder now is getting a job as l haven't worked since l realised l was sick, about 3 years ago now, the prospective employer would ask "why haven't you worked for such a long time" then l'd tell him that l was depressed and every time they'd show me the door. by the way l'm only 24, have an OK skill set just can't get a foot in the door. The best thing l've done to date is taking that leap into a doctors surgery, and then afterwards l started exercising two best things l've ever done.
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13-08-2014, 05:18 PM | #6 | ||
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Once, when I was much younger, I completed one of those actuarial based tests to determine your statistical probable life expectancy.
I was stunned. At that time I was not overweight, I drank only wine in small amounts, I was exercising regularly, did not smoke, had no family history of heart disease, cancer, or diabetes. Yet my life expectancy was 48. (funnily enough the age I am now.) Then it went through the results, to "show me where I could improve my lifestyle." Nothing earth-shattering until it came to the question "have you ever been depressed?" I had ticked yes, and that had lopped 20 years off my life expectancy.
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13-08-2014, 05:27 PM | #7 | ||
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My dad has suffered quite badly from depression, has tried to take his own life 4 times....thankfully each time has failed although the 3rd time was very close, pills 3 out 4 times and the last one wrists, has 'beaten' it with electrotherapy and getting off those ******* terrible stilnox sleeping pills which block depression meds working....this has been a cycle of over 7 years..... Seems like he is fairly happy, has a job he likes and works on his LTD...
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13-08-2014, 06:57 PM | #8 | ||
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Do those who suffer depression actually realise it? What sort of methods do the doctors use to actually treat depression and what do the drugs actually do to you to change your moods? If a person sees life as completely pointless, sees the "normal" human things (love, relationships, starting a family, etc) indifferently, and only gets short term relief through venting in various ways, or harnessing their frustrations in their career, is that person suffering depression or finding ways to cope and managing it? When does depression become dangerous and one should seek help?
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13-08-2014, 08:08 PM | #9 | |||
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Quote:
It usually starts with feeling low about something, whether its the loss of a loved one, or inner problems with ones self (feeling of under achievement, failure etc which can be caused by a number of things). If you feel low for long enough there can be a chemical change in the brain whereby its hard to over come negative feelings, to the point where you cant go on any longer (as that's all you think about). Medication DOES work, but it can cloud your mind to a certain degree, you start to not worry about the issue, but at the same time you can lose control of other things. In saying that also it can take up to 3 - 4 medications before you find the right one that works for you. With the medication can come side effects too, which can be life changing. Anyone who thinks they are depressed needs to see a doctor, a GP to start with but a psychiatrist after a referral from the GP if the GP cannot help. If anyone is feeling low and has no one to talk to they can PM me. I guess the only advice I can give is there is light at the other side of the tunnel, and things can change / get better, but many people who hurt themselves through depression feel as if they are alone, and they definitely are not.
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13-08-2014, 08:09 PM | #10 | ||||||
YE-US! Wait. I don't know
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It depends. Some people are chronically depressed and think it's normal. Some people are perfectly fine and claim they're depressed. Some people are depressed and know about and have such a handle that they can tell when they've started to slide.
Quote:
If they find that you are, they'll likely start you off on a basic SSRI. Quote:
Anti's are a trial and error thing, so usually you'll get started on the "95% successful" drug for your particular disorder. Then if that doesn't work they'll trial other ones. It can be a long a ******* exhaustive process. The sufferer will also likely get a mental health plan put in place, and a referral to a psychologist. Quote:
There are, quite often, other signs. Loss of appetite, sleep disturbance, erratic behaviours. Then there might not be any of those at all. The key is, is the person acting out of normalcy? If they are, talk to them. Quote:
Depression is manageable, but it always has the potential to be dangerous. It doesn't matter how well someone is managing it, the right set of circumstances at the right time can send them backwards quite suddenly. And if in doubt. Ring a CAT team. They'll talk to you over the phone in the same way 000 will, and determine the requirement for intervention.
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13-08-2014, 08:10 PM | #11 | |||
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Quote:
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13-08-2014, 08:21 PM | #12 | ||
If it ain't broke........
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My wife has Bi Polar. She has just come out of "a downer" after 14 months. She has had it for at least 18 years. Her cousin who also has it, won lotto and 2 days later tried to top himself. Luckily with the right meds ( at least 8-10 a day ) the "Highs" are not over the top highs anymore and the lows can be lived with........
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13-08-2014, 08:24 PM | #13 | ||
YE-US! Wait. I don't know
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Just on the "highs" that come with depression, bi-polar etc.
A lot of people who aren't depressed, and don't understand it, think the highs are great. Their friend/family member is fun, and happy. but what goes up, must come down, and the bigger the high, the worse the crash. I'd rather live a life with minimal movement between my underlying moods. Some people don't get it; because I'm "not as happy as I could be if I just stayed happy".
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13-08-2014, 08:37 PM | #14 | ||
Call me Spud
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I have been hospitalized for attempting my own life. I do not take meds, but ask my kids and partner, one day I can be happy, next angry, then impulsive etc. Not a week goes by that the thought of ending it doesn't enter my mind and on a few occassions I have driven my car at 170kp/h with the intention of turning into a tree. But if I am honest I am too much of a coward to go through with the plans I think out.
The docs don't help as they all tell me what I already know, have seen many a phsyc and it all ends the same, the phsyc tells me I am basically doing their job for them, but for some reason I can't action what I myself know needs to be done. It sucks living with it, but I am lucky and I get by, still work etc. A few times a year I have a day off when I just can't be bothered. For me I find just always having a conversation with someone and being around people keeps me going. If I lived alone I would be a total mess. Every member of my dads side has suffered depression of some sort, my great aunt committed suicide and it is thought my great uncle may have, even though it was ruled an accident. I am thnkfull mine is not as bad as other people out there and that I am able to function daily without meds. BTW, the impulsiveness is the worst part. I am behind on every single bill because I will just buy something because the feeling of buying the item makes me happy. I just paid $400 for a new rod and reel, did I need it, not at all, got heaps of rods etc, but it felt good having something new and whilst some might say everyone does that, I do it even when the bills are due and the money I spend could pay the electricity etc. Last edited by Spudz27; 13-08-2014 at 08:45 PM. |
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13-08-2014, 08:41 PM | #15 | ||
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Diagnosis is tricky, I've never been depressed nor do I understand it all that much. I've helped people with it but can't understand that if your sad because you spend all day in bed then why you don't get up, I know it's not that simple hence why I encourage people to seek help. I've also had people point out that I could be a psychopath due to lack of emotional responses (test said I was 0.o). That all said I could walk into a doctor and say I'm sad and I don't know why and their first response will be to prescribe antidepressants (I've tested this). Antidepressants generally have a common side effect of causing depression.... So getting a false/wrong prescription can potentially cause depression...
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13-08-2014, 08:47 PM | #16 | ||
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One thing I MUST stress which I have witnessed many times. Those who see the same doctor consistently that they can build a relationship with "recover" better than those who just go to a clinic and get the next available that breezes over their file.
If you are just gonna lay about the house anyway you can afford the time it takes to see the same doctor, It's not just a note for a sickie. It's for your well-being spend the time (which you'd do nothing with anyway) and get proper care. Remember, tough love ;P. This is how I speak to those who seek help from me.
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13-08-2014, 08:48 PM | #17 | |||
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your not a coward. you are making a very good decision not to do it. Why is it that you won't take medication?? not judging or anything.
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13-08-2014, 08:53 PM | #18 | |||
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Quote:
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13-08-2014, 09:03 PM | #19 | ||
YE-US! Wait. I don't know
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Someone with depression isn't just "laying about the house".
I've had depression for over a decade, and I've just been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The fatigue from CFS is far more manageable than the absolute uselessness you feel when you're in a full blown depressive episode. It's not as simple as getting up, making an appointment and going. As I said to works "fit for work" doctor. I know the difference between CFS and depression. They both generally feel the same. It's just one, you have the motivation, but can't get up/have to pace. The other you don't have the motivation, and you're so physically tired from that that doing anything - even showering - is hard. Nova8, the way you use words here is really trivialising of the illnesses that many suffer.
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13-08-2014, 09:03 PM | #20 | |||
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Got a job, sorted things with my mrs of 11yrs and the mother of my kids. But I still struggle daily, the impulsiveness is what I want to get a handle on and the anger. I don't mind sharing these things as it helps me to see me from the outside if that makes sense to people and it might help others to show there is no fear being open about your issues. |
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13-08-2014, 09:13 PM | #21 | |||
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Quote:
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13-08-2014, 09:13 PM | #22 | ||
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Well it works well for those in my life, a swift kick in the right direction, a bit of a tongue in cheek attitude. Maybe you could focus on all my posts and not just a couple sentences? My over theme is it is serious and you need to seek help from those close and trained professionals. Like I said in my first post, I believe humor is a great way to make certain subject more approachable.
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13-08-2014, 09:15 PM | #23 | ||
YE-US! Wait. I don't know
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You also said in your first post you don't understand it. And you clearly don't.
Humour may be the way you and yours cope with it, but it's not the way a lot of people cope with it; so it's not advisable to trivialise it (even in a small way, with the supposedly bestest of intentions evar), on such a public forum. I'm merely pointing out something you should probably keep to using with those you know.
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13-08-2014, 09:17 PM | #24 | ||
Call me Spud
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Nova I will agree humour is a huge key in my personal struggle. The guys at work have said it won't be the same if I leave. I can and will make a joke out of everything including myself. But the swift kick does not work for all. One of the biggest probs in my relationship is my mrs lack of understanding even after 11yrs. If I am down or moping etc, she just tells me to get over it or see someone.
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13-08-2014, 09:19 PM | #25 | ||
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Just did that K10 questionnaire and scored 34 (high) might be telling me l'm overdue to see my psych gotta admit been having a good run this last month or so. but still scored high duh
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13-08-2014, 09:21 PM | #26 | ||
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O geez...
I had a breakdown a few years ago.. Lost an unborn child, that partner than left me, Got retrenched, I had tenured a gov contract and failed to complete it and got sued, couldnt meet my $40,000 debt credit card repayments, car insurance got suspended for non paynnet and then a week later someone "hit and run" side swiped my car during the night, car was just about written off, $10,000 damage, I then hit the gear (drugs) HARD and that was it.. I became reckless, volatile and suicidal. I did the same thing as you spud, 130km/h drunk behind the wheel, drifted onto the wrong side of the road and lined myself up for a head on with a semi, closed my eyes and let the steering wheel go.. i heard the trucks horn, i drifted off onto the right shoulder on the wrong side of the road as i heard the truck pass me on my left.. How i did not die is still beyond me.. I literally was 100% committed to killing myself.. it was my only option to end the pain, i couldnt see that my family was trying to help, i had a strong support network but i had just shut down internally.. There is no greater pain than grief and loss.. I support the black dog ride 100%, i suggest you guys make a donation... They are currently half way around australia.. Black Dog is to raise money for Mens depression and suicide awareness... |
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13-08-2014, 09:29 PM | #27 | ||
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2 people, one agrees humour works and the other tells me to be quiet. Maybe if you don't like how one person deals/helps with depression you should simply glaze over it and hope it helps someone else. Also a big hurdle is the general population don't want to discuss it, suicide included (depression and suicide are hand in hand). I am, as one of those general public, advising that making light of a subject can also shed light of said subject. Once someone no longer feels uncomfortable by the word they can comment on the implication.
Again, this is just my experience with the and what seems to work, maybe from the other side of the fence then you and yours but no less valid either.
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13-08-2014, 09:32 PM | #28 | ||
YE-US! Wait. I don't know
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There's using humour; and there's trivialising a situation.
I'm merely pointing out that as this is a public forum that the humour chose should be chosen wisely - and in such a way it does not trivialise the suffering of another, regardless of intentions. Depression doesn't allow one the luxury of just "glazing over" things.
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13-08-2014, 09:59 PM | #29 | ||
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Here`s a positive. Go through all the brilliant minds in History. Be it Science, Art, Architecture, name another 100. Most of them had/suffered from/embraced a mental illness.
This day-and-age is somewhat different. Biggest mistake Humans make is worrying about what other Humans think about them. |
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13-08-2014, 10:07 PM | #30 | ||
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I see depression as cancer of the soul (sorry if that offends anyone), it is brutal, life wrecking condition. Everyone gets it in different degrees at some point and from personal experience, the best thing to do it get help as soon as possible. There is no shame in admitting you need help and unfortunately too many people view depression as being weak or making excuses for being 'lazy'.
My own experiences almost killed me and may still do at some point. I lost my aunty 8 years ago to suicide due to depression and more recently my father almost 6 years ago aged 50 to suicide aswel, I was 13 at the time and finding my dad hanging by a rope was the last thing I thought I would have to experience. We have a very strong family history of depression and I have had it from a young age, it just became more noticeable after the loss of my dad. I became suicide at the age of 14 with 3 attempts (one hanging resulting in a snapped branch, one drug related and one by blade, this being the worse one). I was hospitalized in PMH for three months by force and thank god they did, it was complete hell in there but if it wasn't for that I highly doubt I would be here today. Even now, everyday is a battle but with the right support you can get better even if its only marginally. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that if you feel you may be affected then get help even if its not for yourself, do it for your family because if you take that final leap you will tear everything you loved apart. Don't give in to that black dog.
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