break-ups

saudia_man · 25-09-2005, 09:46 PM

hey guys

just wondering how u aussies deal with bad breakups????

i break up with my woman last week, i still find it hard and miss her lots

i need some help to get over the whole thing :(

**Falcon Coupe** · 25-09-2005, 09:49 PM

Get a copy of the Soup Dragons song titled " i'm free to do as i want, any old time" and keep listening to it, also focus on the the future (so may beautifull women around)

25-09-2005, 10:00 PM

Get drunk with beer(amber coloured alcoholic beverage) and go out on the town with the boys.

Quote from someone I don't know: Remember, ugly girls have hot friends.

kooky · 25-09-2005, 10:02 PM

another quote from someone I don't know: No matter how hot a girl is there is always a guy that's sick and tired of putting up with her shyte

25-09-2005, 10:10 PM

Well put

Just hope that it doesnt fall onto you? lol

We could throw in suggestions of what to do to ease the pain, but it would help if we knew what was the cause for this bad breakup...

Saying it was bad, means the breakup was triggered by one party? When there is a mutual break up things are all hunky doory generally and try to get on with your life.

oneredED · 25-09-2005, 10:25 PM

Best thing i've found for bad break ups (if you're not the instigator of the break up) is to go and get laid by someone else. Whilst it does sound quite petty, it does help to take your mind off things for a while.
Getting ****ed works for the first few days, but if it's been a longer relationship, talk to another close female friend (not with the intention of screwing her) about what happened etc. It's something girls have over us, but they generally make you feel better just by talking to 'em rather than the "she was a fat stupid cow and we all hated her anyways" that your mates end up saying when you get ****ed the night of the breakup...

EDIT: and whatever you do, don't go back to the person. I did and it bit me in the ****. Not worth the extra trouble. If it was bad then be glad you're out of it.

Shonky · 25-09-2005, 10:36 PM

open mouth, insert alcoholic beverage, swallow.

repeat these three steps until you get shagged or collapse in a pool of your own vomit, whichever comes first.

Please be advised that this is an acute treatment only, and long term use could result in imprisonment, loss of employment and no more nookie...

gtfpv · 25-09-2005, 10:37 PM

a friend siad to me a long time ago . if you love some one set them free . if they come back they are yours .and if they don't they never were.
"simple but true"
2ndly if you really love someone and they don't want to be with you . you should respect them and let it be . you can't make someone be with you . so if she doesn't come back consider it that it is for the best and she is doing you and herself a favour.
if you think like this you will feel better.

b2tf · 25-09-2005, 10:42 PM

Just remember it could be worse. I dont mean to sound insensitive, cos I know its a rough time, but seriously, if this is all you have to worry about, you're doing pretty well.

For gods sake dont go after the sister though. :monkes:

oneredED · 25-09-2005, 10:46 PM

Sort of related to what gtfpv said, but they this helped me out. When you break up, or are broken up with, you generally think of all the good times etc and they make you feel down, yeah? Well, think of all the times that you had that lead to the breakup. That helped me out. I was in a relationship where i was treated like umm "very badly". I'm pretty sure i was cheated on. I still missed that chick for ages (it was a great relationship for the first 12 months), but everytime i started to feel down, i thought of all the bad times, and how much better off i was knowing that it's over.

Actually, that has practically nothing to do with what gtfpv said. Sorry :P

NC 5ltr · 25-09-2005, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

a friend siad to me a long time ago . if you love some one set them free . if they come back they are yours .and if they don't they never were.
"simple but true"

bulldung,you got it off the fridge magnet didnt you? my mums got one thats how i know

Shonky · 25-09-2005, 10:57 PM

hehehe...

Ahhh but what was he doing at your mums house?

gtfpv · 25-09-2005, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NC 5ltr

bulldung,you got it off the fridge magnet didnt you? my mums got one thats how i know

no this actually happened to me . when i was married for 3 years i was a very jelous husband. which created problems . if you are not up too scratch in some area then most of the time you are tested in this area. any how my wife wanted out . i felt exactly like this guy . helpless . but after counselling i learnt to chill . up until this point i refused to accept that she didn't want to lbe with me. and was convinced that she was in love with someone else . after counselling i did start to feel better about myself . and accepted my inferiorities. i agreed to seperate and wished her well. we did not seperate . all she needed was for me to let go .
it turns out that she had blokes chasing her. but had done nothing about it . i dont worry anymore . so it isn't an issue and i am not tested in this area.so she is not likely to run into the arms of someone else.because i am not holding her to it . does this make sense .
it's sort of like reverse psychology...

MITCHAY · 25-09-2005, 11:25 PM

Get absolutley smashed. It wont solve anything but makes you forget for a while until you get the god awful headache when you wake up. Done it many times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArgonEF

Quote from someone I don't know: Remember, ugly girls have hot friends.

Yep. Get one of your wasted mates to jump on the grenade while you evacuate the blast zone.

pauljh74 · 26-09-2005, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcon Coupe

Get a copy of the Soup Dragons song titled " i'm free to do as i want, any old time" and keep listening to it, also focus on the the future (so may beautifull women around)

I've got another one "99 problems" by Ice T
"I've got 99 problems and a b**** aint one!"

bindi · 26-09-2005, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Young 'un

Ahhh but what was he doing at your mums house?

OMG bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

if you really love someone and they don't want to be with you . you should respect them and let it be . you can't make someone be with you . so if she doesn't come back consider it that it is for the best and she is doing you and herself a favour.
if you think like this you will feel better.

Gee mate, were we twins separated at birth!?!?! lol THIS IS SO VERY TRUE. Wise words spoken here.

People do all kinds of things to get their loved ones to come back to them, some to the point of emotional blackmail (guilt etc). And what happens when that person comes back through force? She is miserable, being emotionally bound to be somewhere she doesn't want to be because of YOUR needs, wants and insecurities. She'll get sick of it and after a while the guilt she feels will not be enough to make her stay, and she'll leave again.

Leaving you more of a mess than the first time around. Basically, if someone wants out, LET THEM GO. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?! Is it really out of love that you are forcing someone to stay in a relationship against their will?

What a waste of your time, and hers. If everyone just respected the decisions of the other party, released the fear of being the one left behind, and got on with life (remaining at least on civil speaking terms with each other)... gee, well our divorce and family law courts would be out of jobs.

When are we going to realise that marriage is not working for us, and choose some other way of relating?

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by saudia_man

hey guys

just wondering how u aussies deal with bad breakups????

i break up with my woman last week, i still find it hard and miss her lots

i need some help to get over the whole thing :(

The way everyone else does, the world over. Yell, get abusive, beg for forgiveness and/or the person to stay, plead, cry, blame the other person for how you are feeling, get ****ed, shag someone else...

It's a terrible cycle and we treat ourselves and our ex-lovers with total disrespect and immature behaviour.

Just say goodbye, thank her for all the good times (because it WAS good, mostly), and get on with life. Learn from your mistakes and DON'T BLAME THE OTHER PERSON for how you are feeling. They are your feelings. The cow did NOT ruin your life. It's your life, choose it.

Good luck.

Kenaz · 26-09-2005, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pauljh74

I've got another one "99 problems" by Ice T
"I've got 99 problems and a b**** aint one!"

I thought that was Jay Z?

4.9 EF Futura · 26-09-2005, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saudia_man

hey guys

just wondering how u aussies deal with bad breakups????

i break up with my woman last week, i still find it hard and miss her lots

i need some help to get over the whole thing :(

Yeah, nothing like a depressant to pick you up when you're feeling blue! Seriously though, dont get too caught up in the whole 'alcoholic not shaving/showering' thing. Get faced if you're gonna go out and have a good time with the lads but if you're gonna be down, booze probably the last thing you need... and speaking from experience you'll probably end up doing something stupid like calling her at 3am and grovelling...

Nothing wrong a bit of self pity but you alcohol doesnt really help...

Wiothout sounding too crude.. go out and put one through the finest looking chick you can find.... transfer your ongoing affections to her or simply sit back, hands behind head and grin from ear to ear in awe of your conquest.

Take your time. Keep your chin up.

TheSneakiness · 26-09-2005, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenaz

I thought that was Jay Z?

And you'd be right.

gozza · 26-09-2005, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUII_SE_Ute

And you'd be right.

still fag rappers

gozza · 26-09-2005, 09:57 AM

its hard mate especially if u planned on making it last
personally i'd spend a week on a bender of drugs alcahol and hopefully sex with lots of strange women...then after that my brain would be so bashed id be able to spend the next few eeks after that not thinkin..then hopefully would be over it lol
noone can really tell you..its somthing you have to do/figure out yaself i guess

The Dok · 26-09-2005, 10:25 AM

For what it's worth, stay well clear of alcohol, make a list of all the things you wanted to do when you were in a relationship but couldn't, for example, look at other women, watch whatever program/channel you want, leave the toilet seat UP, sleep in the middle of the bed.........you get the idea...........soon enough you'll focus on what was WRONG with the relationship rather than focusing on the good times.
Also might be a good idea to plan a BIG Bathurst race party/B.B.Q with a few mates (+ maybe some mates sisters/girlfriends/friends etc), something else many of us were unable to do or enjoy when we in less than harmonious relationships.
But the bottom line is to try to stop thinking about all the good times (if any) you guys might have had, it only makes a bad situation worse

:

26-09-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dok

Also might be a good idea to plan a BIG Bathurst race party/B.B.Q with a few mates (+ maybe some mates sisters/girlfriends/friends etc), something else many of us were unable to do or enjoy when we in less than harmonious relationships.

Perhaps saudia_man, get out with the boys and watch the illegal street drifting on the local highway

:

26-09-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

a friend siad to me a long time ago . if you love some one set them free . if they come back they are yours .and if they don't they never were.
"simple but true"
2ndly if you really love someone and they don't want to be with you . you should respect them and let it be . you can't make someone be with you . so if she doesn't come back consider it that it is for the best and she is doing you and herself a favour.
if you think like this you will feel better.

What's the other line....???

if they don't come back, hunt them down...

:

Seriously, nothing heals like time, remember time wounds all heals... :thebirds:

pauljh74 · 26-09-2005, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenaz

I thought that was Jay Z?

But Ice T did his slightly different version 10 years earlier in 93

http://www.musicmademe.com/show_sng.php?d=144563

oneredED · 26-09-2005, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Seriously, nothing heals like time, remember time wounds all heals...

Very very true, couldn't agree more when it comes to break-ups...

lukey · 26-09-2005, 03:33 PM

Keep busy - Keeping active and doing things you enjoy may help to keep your mind off the break up. You may want to hang out with friends, read a book, go for a run or walk or listen to music.

Try something new - Sometimes it is helpful to make a fresh start by trying something different. There may be a course you have always wanted to do, for example drama, art, yoga or you may want to start playing sport.

Look after yourself - It may be a difficult time and it is important that you look after yourself. Eating a healthy diet and doing something active may be helpful. It may also help to treat yourself. Do something that you enjoy.

Remind yourself that you are OK - Think about your achievements, your friends, the people that have said good things about you and the things that you enjoy.

Talk with someone you trust - Getting some support when a relationship is ending may help you work through how you are feeling. You may find it helpful to talk to your friends, your parents, a teacher, school counsellor, doctor or another person that you can trust. Check out the Finding Help section for more info about how these people can help.

Des · 26-09-2005, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lukey

Keep busy - Keeping active and doing things you enjoy may help to keep your mind off the break up. You may want to hang out with friends, read a book, go for a run or walk or listen to music.

Try something new - Sometimes it is helpful to make a fresh start by trying something different. There may be a course you have always wanted to do, for example drama, art, yoga or you may want to start playing sport.

Look after yourself - It may be a difficult time and it is important that you look after yourself. Eating a healthy diet and doing something active may be helpful. It may also help to treat yourself. Do something that you enjoy.

Remind yourself that you are OK - Think about your achievements, your friends, the people that have said good things about you and the things that you enjoy.

Talk with someone you trust - Getting some support when a relationship is ending may help you work through how you are feeling. You may find it helpful to talk to your friends, your parents, a teacher, school counsellor, doctor or another person that you can trust. Check out the Finding Help section for more info about how these people can help.

Try the above. Most of that worked for me after my divorce....

Feathers · 26-09-2005, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

a friend siad to me a long time ago . if you love some one set them free . if they come back they are yours .and if they don't they never were.
"simple but true"

I tried that for the first couple of weeks. Then I found that just made it worse. I'd still like to think that it might be true though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

2ndly if you really love someone and they don't want to be with you . you should respect them and let it be . you can't make someone be with you . so if she doesn't come back consider it that it is for the best and she is doing you and herself a favour.
If you think like this you will feel better.

Yep. Scream, cry, sleep, drink, whatever you need to do to ease the pain, do it, but leave them out of it.

Venomous · 26-09-2005, 05:59 PM

Broke up with my gf just then, lol didnt last very long, oh well wasnt meant to be. Im just moving on, on the lookout for more girls lol.