Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15-01-2008, 07:53 PM   #31
DDXR6T
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
DDXR6T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,033
Default

Not too funny, But I remember the day after St Pats day I walked into a mates place wearing a green shirt, and his sister (whom I don't like) said to me "St Pat's day was yesterday, you're too tight to change?", So I replied with "So, Mardi Gras was last year and I see you havent bothered changing" ... Had to be there I guess.

Another cracker was a night out in town for my mates 21st ... this chick found out it was his 21st, and said "Ohhh, want a b'day kiss?" and he said "No - I've been herpe free for 21 years - I ain't gonna break it today"
DDXR6T is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2008, 07:55 PM   #32
Daymoe
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,082
Default

A few years ago, mum was in Highpoint Lincraft and ended up getting into a fight with the manager, the manager decided to be a smart ars3 and say "Well i cant pull a rabbit out of a hat".

Mum replies:

"Well i can pull a hair out of my ars3!"

Then the manager stormed off, i still crack up laughing today. You just had to be there.
Daymoe is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 10:12 AM   #33
Fev
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Fev's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cattai, Sydney
Posts: 7,701
Default

yeah thats kinda gross lol although Dan635's were greaT! lol
__________________
1992 EBII Fairmont Ghia 4.0l <---Click for the Gallery!
Insta@mooneye_ghia
White on bright red smoothies with thick whitewalls. Cruising around to some rockabilly
Fev is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 10:32 AM   #34
LowEL2XR8
Mr Impulsive
 
LowEL2XR8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Perth NOR.
Posts: 1,309
Default

There was a guy at work who was rather large and his pants were showing bum crack. When he bent down more was exposed. Then another worker came by with a coffee and I said "Geez look at that" pointing at the bum crack "Hes got more crack than a columbian druglord." The guy drinking the coffee had it coming out of his nose and he spilled most of what was left on the floor. He nearly died trying laugh and drink coffee at the same time.
__________________
Owned Fords
85 Telstar (man), 96 EF GLi (auto), 95 EF XR6 (man), 97 EL Fairmont Ghia (auto), 98 EL XR8 (man), 06 BF wagon (auto), 06 BF XR6 (ZF auto), 08 FG G6E (ZF auto), '10 SY MKII TS Territory (4spd)
LowEL2XR8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 10:45 AM   #35
Ando_Leigh
Regular Member
 
Ando_Leigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The Shire
Posts: 193
Default

This was pretty funny at the time but may not have the same effect on here.
All sitting in a car one night after a big night out and one of my mates says to us all.
"i have some good news and some bad news" where all like ok whats the good news his reply is " i have farted just yet" i think it was the quickest i seen 5 people get out of a moving car.
__________________
BA MK11 XR6- Black
Ando_Leigh is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 02:46 PM   #36
Bundwah
Living the Life in Cranny
 
Bundwah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 79
Default

I was having a few beers with my brothers, and we were sitting on the couch, with two large pedestal fans turned on and oscillating to face each other in unison. We were a little ****ed and I commented on how the fans looked like they were talking to each other. My little brother said 'What about that local sports team?' Imitating what they'd say to each other. I replied 'Yeah I'm a big fan.'
It sounds lame, but at the time we ****ed ourselves laughing for about 10 minutes (alcohol probably had a bit to do with it).
__________________
Nah, Pando's a good bloke
Bundwah is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 03:30 PM   #37
[Tonko]
What's green is gold
 
[Tonko]'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Shepparton
Posts: 3,079
Default

Had a good one this morning, but i guess you had to be there...
Walked out to the car and a guy was leaning on it..
ME: "Get off my car now"
HIM: "Oh just resting my legs dont get ****y"
ME: "Im not, you've made it dirty, get off!"
HIM: "how does giving us a lift sound to ya?"
ME: "How does Phuckk you sound?"
And that was my que to exit...
Funny as though, the convo only went for about 5 seconds...
__________________

EF XR8 - Koni's - Cam and Headwork -3.9s - Ex VIC TMU -


1982 Nissan Patrol - 460 ci Big Block soon - Semi Gloss Black - Dark Tint - 4x 6" Infinity Kappa Perfect Splits - 5" Kappa 2 ways - Kappa 6x9's - 2x12" Kappa perfect subs - 2x4 Channel and 2x Mono Kappa amps-



Last edited by [Tonko]; 16-01-2008 at 03:31 PM. Reason: swear filter ate my baby
[Tonko] is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2008, 10:17 PM   #38
FrogInASock
Getahaircutandgetarealjob
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Newcastle area, NSW
Posts: 123
Default

I've posted this story before in another old thread but...

Way back then a "mate" had a Gemini. He also had the mechanincal knowledge of a navel orange. One day he said to another mate and I that his high powered death machine had a little extra.

"It's got a Solex" he said. "Gives the engine about 10 extra horsepower."
"A Solex carby?" I asked, knowing that he ran a side draught Weber.
"No, a Solex ON the carby."
Up goes the bonnet and he shows us this little toggle on the carby. He flicks it across and starts the Gemmy, which idles at about 2000 rpm. He grabs the throttle cable and wrenches it open, then lets go (ever heard a Gemini at 8000rpm?) upon which the toggle snaps back to it's original position and the Gemmy idles normally.

"Umm, Michael," we said, "you DO know what that is, don't you?"
"Yeah!" he replies. "A Solex!"
"No, Micheal. It's your choke."
__________________
Te pilos recidene volo et opus solidus capere :
FrogInASock is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2008, 02:41 PM   #39
seXE
Regular Member
 
seXE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Camden, Sydney
Posts: 44
Default

I was at work, and both of my bosses were there. One of them was there was there just to train a new staff member, and she was explaining to the new person about the 'PIG' (product information guide) and my boss who wasnt training the girl was like "its an acronym Tania. We dont actually have a Pig in the shop" and then my training boss and the new girl left the room and my boss goes "wow that was a pretty big word for me eh?" and i said "what, Pig?"

we laughed crazily for the next 10 minutes.
seXE is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2008, 02:59 PM   #40
Fev
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Fev's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cattai, Sydney
Posts: 7,701
Default

its always great to pwn bosses
__________________
1992 EBII Fairmont Ghia 4.0l <---Click for the Gallery!
Insta@mooneye_ghia
White on bright red smoothies with thick whitewalls. Cruising around to some rockabilly
Fev is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2008, 03:14 PM   #41
Smoke Pursuit
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,884
Valued Contributor: For members whose non technical contributions are worthy of recognition. - Issue reason: DASH/bfiipursuit has been alot of help over the years I have frequented this forum, lots of thoughtful and informed posts, very much a valued contributor. 
Default

This thread is the lamest ive read in a while. Some of your calls are crap! :
Smoke Pursuit is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 03:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL