the loss of a child

[husky510]

Mate, I'm a grown man and I am weeping. I have three kids myself and to deal with something like this is not what I could handle. All I can suggest is don't let the tension get between you and your partner. You need to be there for her, and she needs to be there for you... Stay as close as possible to each other and encourage one another as you take on each new day... Speak only good words and don't let your thoughts take over your life...

I went through quite a heavy depression some years ago, so I understand how the mind is a very powerful tool to be used to get you down.

Your a brave man to come on here and share your feelings...

Stay strong!

[RSgerry]

this is really tragic. i am so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. condolences mate.

[Penelope Pitstop]

The world may never notice
If a flower doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.

So very very sorry to hear of the loss of your precious angel Chloe.

Torixx

[HP-0351]

Originally Posted by Penelope Pitstop

The world may never notice
If a flower doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.

So very very sorry to hear of the loss of your precious angel Chloe.

Torixx

Beautiful poem...very fitting

[schnoods]

Truly sorry for your loss.

My Deepest condolences.

[F6Mont]

Really sorry to hear your news. Like others have said, I can not even begin to imagine what you and your wife are going through. Sincere condolences. RIP Chloe.

[Spanrz]

Know what you are going through. The pain. Man, with you all the way!

Been trying for over 10 years. 1 only success story, got to 8 weeks, found out by pure luck it was ectopic. No choice but surgery. Within 3 hrs after being told, it was removed.
It was the worst day of my life.
Tried IVF once, very little success there, only 2 out of 11 survived trying next year sometime.
I went through a bad time this year, depression and all. Still have bouts of it.

My wife is on a webforum about people "trying", hear a lot of heartbreaking stories.
But from what I know, 24 weeks is limit to have any chance.

The best thing for you is to let it all out. Let your emotions run freely. It's natural.
It affected me for a week, till I got sane again. I took a week off work, because it affected me that bad.

Take it easy!

[Stav]

Sorry to hear than man.We are all thinking of you in this bad time..

[Falc'man]

Hey Vanman, we pray that God recompenses you and your partner with patience and peace. It's a hard thing to even imagine losing a loved one, especially someone so pure. Chloe is in peace. Console the wife as much as you can, she would be devastated right now so keep the warmth happening and assure her Chloe is in peace and that she'll have another one. Whether you get another child or not is unknown (and I pray you do), but telling her she will will fill her up with hope. And hope is power.

Originally Posted by husky510

Mate, I'm a grown man and I am weeping. I have three kids myself and to deal with something like this is not what I could handle. All I can suggest is don't let the tension get between you and your partner. You need to be there for her, and she needs to be there for you... Stay as close as possible to each other and encourage one another as you take on each new day... Speak only good words and don't let your thoughts take over your life...

I went through quite a heavy depression some years ago, so I understand how the mind is a very powerful tool to be used to get you down.

Your a brave man to come on here and share your feelings...

Stay strong!

Well said mate.

[TadKa]

that's horrible. I hope you guys pull through it. I've got no idea what that would feel like. This has happened to my parents 2, maybe 3 times. They don't like talking about it and I see the pain. I was too young to know though.

[vanman_75]

[QUOTE=davez104]I'm not good with words at the best of times, much let alone times like these, and I probably don't need to post here, but anyway. Mate, you know our thoughts are with you both, if you need anything, or if there is anything we can do to help, you know where to find me.

It is a sad day indeed

dave i will see you when we put her to rest ,i need you now , thanks for all the kind words , we got to 28 weeks .
im gunna try ,
when i first saw her ,it took my breath away ,shes breathing ....stable .
i followed her too the icu,...stable shes a fighting ....
my brother inlaw ...its a girl ..is she ok
shes doing her best ...but not so good
doctors ...it dont look good but we are trying .wife is recovering from the op ...shes ok time ticking by .im there for her .answers i need .
nurse ... we will take you to meet your daughter ...thankyou .
they wheel my wife in with mum and dad at her side ,hold her hand ... that would be nice ....why are they so beautiful .this is precious shes alive ,but slipping .god took my little girls heart ,i watch the last beat .my life has some real meaning . friends and family come together .this is more than i can believe ,we will give her what she deserves ,and take her home .
i really appreciate all of this ,i am slowly coming together ,time will tell .we have some great friends and family ,and im thankful for that . once again thankyou for your replys ,its nice 2 know there are genuine people in this world .love your family ,you never know what may happen.

[ehast13]

I'm so sorry. That pain, feels like a bowling bowl stuck in your chest. No matter how hard you try to inhale, the pain doesn't seem to go away, but you will learn to live with it in time

I hope you and your wife can grow from this and keep trying for a family. My parents had three kids. I was the only one who made it past two years old. Only recently (40 years later) has Dad pulled out photos or even talked about my brother and sister. Everyone has a right to greive their own way. If you want to try to deal with it privately, then do so. If you wish to talk, you've got everyone here to listen. Men's helpline also has 24hr counselling. Remember to cuddle your wife. She'll need it.

I won't lie and say I know how you feel . I can't imagine it. Both our kids were premmie. We've seen them both live in incubators with tubes coming out of them everywhere. We were told one probably wouldn't make it. I was a blubbering mess at that stage. We didn't feel lucky at the time, but we have since.

I guess what I hope to convey, is that challenges such as these seem insurmountable at the time, but remember the support network you have and don't give up on your dream of having a family.

My wife and I will keep you and your wife in our prayers.

[Scott]

Your family is in our thoughts and we sincerely wish for brighter things in your future.

[pitpal]

May God bless Cloe and give you and your wife strength in this time of hardship.

[Envi XR8]

vanman,

While this has not happened to me directly, I have felt the sense of robbery and violation that comes with losing a baby. 21 years ago on Sunday gone our family lost twin boys, stillborn by a few hours. At their service the priest said something I have never forgotten and have thought about to when it all didn't make sense. He said that God decided that He needed the boys to be angels, and that they were too good for this world. So He took them back. I like to think that is true for our Jacob and Damian, and for your Chloe.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both during this time. May life's brightest days shine on you both from now on.

Chris

[FPVF6X189]

heart felt sympathy to you and your wife but dont ever forget what daughter accomplished in her short time with you both bringing you's that feeling of completeness , the feeling of pride , the feeling of love for your own child , no one or nothing can ever take that from you and through those memories Chloe will always have a place in your hearts RIP Chloe

[dave351cid]

mate. sorry to hear the tragic news. i guess its mostly all been said now so i will just say hang in there and battle on. sounds like you have good family there to help with support so use it.

thoughts are with you and your wife,

[vanman_75]

just woke up ,breaky and shower ,and head back up . yes a good family i have .

[Bluepower]

Vanman,

be strong for your wife. Any words i have will be feeble, apart from if i could rotate heaven and earth I would, but i cant.

Take heart in your short but precious time with your beautiful daughter. I hope she wanders in the kingdom of our lord for eternity.

Good on all the AFF people and their thoughtful posts here.

If you want to lean on someone, feel free to call me at the office, if you need anything organised and dont have much energy at the moment, pls also let us know.

Deepest condolences

Chris

[dannyxm]

I dont really know what to say....

But i thought id just leave a message to say that we are all thinking of you and the mrs at this time.

[Chopped]

Sorry for your loss (prayers and thoughts are with you)

[Sam_Boss260]

Sorry for your loss vanman.

Right now you probably feel lost between the joy of holding your daughter, as nothing beats that feeling, and the loss and sorrow of losing her. Just remember that joy of holding her.........

Be there for your wife, as this will be very hard for her. Grieve your loss, nothing wrong with crying to let out the pain and sorrow - it is good for the soul.

I can relate to your pain, with our last pregnancy we actually had twins, but one feteus had demised. That was a very hard day, to find out that we had twins, but only one heartbeat was there. The big man works in mysterious ways, you may question this right now, but in time all will work out for a reason.

As I said, thoughts are with you in this time of need. And we are all here on AFF ready to talk things through.

RIP Chloe.

[vanman_75]

today was hard the first day without a baby,the staff at hervey bay hospital have been fantastic ,both sincere and thoughtful.
they all came in to see my wife this morning ,which she was just overwhelmed at how much our little girl touched them ,i honestly dont know how they do it everyday.we had the photos done which were beautiful.i am her dad .
I went and organised the funeral ,not a good place but neccesary .we picked a loverly little white and pink coffin ,and a little square urn with a teddy on it also pink and silver .I would like to thank you all again ,every word you type has touched me .its just a good release to put it in words .even just a condolences is very appreciated .
Im not much of a tattoo man but have booked in for tonight to get her name writen on my heart where she will always be .some may think its strange to be telling all on here but its really helped ,I keep re reading all posts and any new ones .till i have more to say i welcome all

[SM1DY]

Yesterday I stared work at 5am until it started raining about 12 which i then headed home. To think that in the 7 hrs I was at work a child had been born and passed is just tradgic. Its just hard to imagine that someone could get the gift of life for a short couple of hours, really puts thing into perspective! Sorry for your loss.

[SNB05T]

Originally Posted by vanman_75

some may think its strange to be telling all on here but its really helped ,I keep re reading all posts and any new ones .till i have more to say i welcome all

not at all mate, it's helping you deal with the pain. a few hundred ears are better than holding it all in.

aff and the afl club i play for helped me when i lost my father a couple of years ago.

my wife was reading the posts last night balling her eyes out (we're trying for little dan's atm), we are both at a loss to what to say, what can you say.

i suppose, chin up and be there for each other and remember chloe.

when you get your tat show us pics.

where thinking of you both. R.I.P. Chloe.

[wardle014]

Vanman_75;

My wife and i offer our condolences to you both in this your saddest of hours.

Give your wife all the support you can offer she will need it and it will help you cope with the pain as well.

Take up any counselling that is available to you both as it will help you with your loss.

Bev & Denis

[V8falcons]

We are so very sorry for your families loss ,Im sure Nothing can replace the hole left of a lost child.
As the other guys have said be strong for your wife,keep your chin up you will get through this.

deepest condolences

The Overall family

[ieatsports_cars]

ohh mate i have just read this i offer my condolences to you and your wife ! you have wonder full staff at hervey bay hospital

iam with all the other forum members here and i agree with all that was said

and i think your doing a woderfull job ! it always helps talking to people like you have done

cheers

[DJM83]

Sorry to hear mate, good people dont deserve this. My deepest condolences mate i hope all goes well for you and your family.

[Ryan]

I'm so sorry to hear. I'm actually almost tearing up. :(

I have yet to experience having my own child, so I can't imagine what you, and your family are going through.

Hang in there mate. It's sad when anyone dies, but when it's a child, it's so much harder.

I know this probably sounds corny, but I believe the angels of Heaven are taking care of little Chloe.

Life can be so, so cruel.