Dating 2006 - A girls view

[normxb]

Thanks Ziggee

Sometimes us old buggers try to help out . Our oldest is nearly 20 & next one is 17 . Oldest is a bit of a "tomboy" but good kid and mixes with fairly descent guy's around town, and 17 y/olds B/F says he would "do nothing to lose her , because she couldn't be replaced" Hope we've brought them up the right way. 14 y/o boy has been taught to respect girls too , and is always polite .
You can only try to set an example.

[WASP]

Originally Posted by XRchic

Most chics dont like blokes who cannot spell and use punctuation and grammar properly as it is an INDICATION of below average intelligence.... !

that's ab*t hrshh isn't at Jac?:

Colville

[Angry Beaver]

I am sorry Xrchic, but do not agree with you on the spelling. Most doctors cannot spell to save themselves and Oh most researchers cannot spell either, so having excellent spelling and grammar does not mean intelligence.

[BAUTE]

Originally Posted by ziggee

Read about this on another forum and general consensus was it was Canberra related, but seems it's almost across the board. (aust wide) from this forum if you want to read the ENTIRE thread on other forum let me know IT goes on for about 45pages I think. the same question asked but more females answered on the other forum.. good read. backs up what you have said. I have NFI.. maybe is a male/female shared experince.

i would be interested if you can dig it up. and yes it does seem to be a canberra thing, I have only been here for 18 months (from tassie) and this is a power/influence town. once you get past the low 20's age bracket where nobody cares really what you do it does seem what you do and where you do it and what you get paid for it are what counts. For someone who works to pay for toys rather than because I want to indulge in world domination I just find the whole thing funny, sad but funny.

and another chivalry line. Chivalry died out because we weren't allowed to carry swords and dueling pistols any more

[XRchic]

Originally Posted by Angry Beaver

I am sorry Xrchic, but do not agree with you on the spelling. Most doctors cannot spell to save themselves and Oh most researchers cannot spell either, so having excellent spelling and grammar does not mean intelligence.

I actually said INDICATION of intelligence, and my point was that how someone writes says a lot about a person, as does their car, their job etc... you dont have to believe me, it is a researched, proven fact.

I can assure you that MOST doctors can spell and that researchers would not be able to pass up a thesis with bad spelling and grammatical errors, regardless of whether it is a science or a humanities thesis. I can assure you that as a nurse, I have come across a lot of doctors and also medical reearchers (in my family as well as professionally), as a psychologist, most of my co students and the people I tutored and did my Honours thesis with, and that as a lawyer, most of the people I studied with and worked with can spell rather well.

Everyone makes the odd spelling error but my point is that some people on here cannot seem to punctuate at all, and make the spelling mistakes of a 10 year old - which is a very different thing to a professional making the odd mistake. There is a large gap on this site between the ones who write well (and get their message across) and those who dont.

Yes, there are a lot of tradies on the site as someone pointed out above, but you dont need to have any degrees or even year 12 to be able to spell and write reasonably well. Eamon, my partner is a mechanic and only did year 10 at school but he spells and writes well. He makes mistakes, like we all do.

People who spell no better than a child (there instead of their instead of theyre) and excellerater instead of accelerator, along with the complete lack of use of any commas or full stops (the basics, everyone seems to leave apostrophes off) either never learned to spell well at school or they are lazy and dont care. Either way, I would have to say that it says something about the person.

I do stress that everyone makes spelling and grammatical errors, especially on the forums and it is not that issue that I am talking about.

And I also can assure you that spelling, grammar, writing in general and vocabulary does give an INDICATION of intelligence as they form the basis for a fair part of an IQ test - what value you place on that, I guess depends on how much you understand the purpose of them and how they are created and their statistical value.

My whole point (after all that hehe) is that how you come across on a soley written based environment, such as these forms, is going to be largely dependent on how you actually write. Afterall, the only way to communicate on here is to write... and on a thread about dating in 2006, and with blokes complaining about not being able to find nice girls... I was stating that in that context, it would be a good idea to maximise the chances for exposure that you get and sell yourself well.

If you send in a resume and cover letter for a job application, you know that the selection panel will make their first judgement based on that written application. The same goes for someone's first impressions of another on an internet discussion about dating.

Doesnt do much good if you are sitting at your computer in expensive clothes and looking great and having a great personality etc, if you cannot convey that to anyone on the internet at a level better than a child, does it?

[lush]

XRChic I think I will agree with you, there are a few posts in this thread from a poster, that I found too frustrating to read with it's lack of punctuation. When a thread is short its not a problem, but a long ramlbing thread without it I just give up on trying to decipher what they are on about.

Besides of which I thought the poster had a blurred line between picking up girls and actually dating.

And in regard to a clothing comment earlier, I don't think anyone needs to spend money on brand name clothing or expensive clothing in the hopes of attracting someone.

Yes you need to be clean and covered, but I find decent people won't knock you back because you are wearing a fifteen dollar t-shirt over a seventy dollar t-shirt. If they do they probably aren't worth pursuing anyway.

Also, no offence taken, but you are 18 and I find teenage girls may be impressed with a certain brand, but things change once you get to your twenties and thirties.

[Angry Beaver]

Xrchic, I actually worked in the research field and the medical field and most doctors cannot spell nor can researchers. Thesis are done on computers with spell check and grammar checks. So I have read and deciphered their hand written work. Just because somebody omits grammar or continously forgets to spell correctly does not mean they cannot sell themselves nor does it mean that they are not intelligent.

I am just over the consistent picking on people because they think faster than they can type and yes proof reading would be good but I really don't see the need to constantly bag them out on it.

Guys if you really need to find the special somebody, stop looking so hard and have respect for yourself. Whether it be by actually having a shower (jokes folks) or just being nice. There is somebody for everybody and sometimes it takes a bit longer for you to actually meet. Yes it gets depressing and yes rejection hurts but with it you become stronger and end up learning from it. Beng honest and upfront is also a good thing to practice. No one likes to find out little dark secrets later on.

[WASP]

Bloody hell Jac, in my gest I appear to have openned up a can of worms on you!!:gren: I'm soo sorry, it was all my fault guys!!!

Colville:monkes:

[WASP]

Originally Posted by Angry Beaver

Guys if you really need to find the special somebody, stop looking so hard and have respect for yourself. .

Great advise AB!

Originally Posted by Angry Beaver

Yes it gets depressing and yes rejection hurts but with it you become stronger and end up learning from it.

You can also become bitter and twisted..lol In the past I've met some like that and become that myself at times.:

[Angry Beaver]

Yes you can become bitter and twisted but that is a choice.

[Funtime25]

Well as an older male, who is now widowed (I am in the 40's age group) I find it hard to meet "nice" women. I am polite and respectful of females and always show courtesy. That in itself brings about questions from the female gender , as in what do u want? what r u after?....dont u think I can think for myself?.etc etc.........
I put it down to females wanting independance yet not realising that chivalry and manners still do exist.

Maybe some females I believe should stop thinking that ALL males think below their belts or that females should stop and think that just because we show respect, thats not our way of thinking "if we are nice we get into the sac"

[Angry Beaver]

Note to self must teach casper how to open doors for me etc. :

[LTDHO]

Is this thread still about a girls perspective on dating?

[elusiverunner]

I would have to agree with AUII_SE_UTE. Most girls would take one look at me and run. My work pattern is for the birds, 12 hour shifts, so I have no social life to offer and I had a terrible divorce [16 years ago] so I am a little battle scarred ..... lol

[XRchic]

Originally Posted by CDAA

Bloody hell Jac, in my gest I appear to have openned up a can of worms on you!!:gren: I'm soo sorry, it was all my fault guys!!!

Colville:monkes:

Hahaha Colville, no its not your fault! I just was making a point about blokes who want to give advice about picking up girls along the lines of spending lots of money on expensive brand name clothes and that appearance is so important etc, while writing like a 5 year old.... and the irony of that.

But I will be quiet now, I promise! :hihi:

[mutanti]

I have kinda missed half the posts but here goes
There are still some good guys out there. - Myself being one of them
I have worked as A disk jockey since I was 18 and have seen the pub / club scene and Its not the nicest place to "Pick up"
I have been doing local Bar for last 7 years as a regular gig and enjoy it - but I dont think any of the Ladies in there would be my soul mate.
I am now 34 and still searching for a Girl to spend my life with.

Yes I Have had my fun over the years with many female partners but never treated them any differnt to my other female friends, If I enjoy it why couldn't the ladys I have been with enjoy it as well. Why would I think of them any differnt then myself.
The Truth is I would Love to Get married and have kids before I get to Old To Have A kick of the Soccerball around the backyard with them as they are growing up.
I am starting to believe that I have run out of time to be a young Dad as if I had a kid now I would be 50 when they will be 16 so I hope Im a fit 50

I was in a relationship for 6 years but ended it due to Issues with untidyness and her sleeping 20 odd hours a day etc.
She had issues which I tryed to help her with but she had to want to help herself.
We split up but still chat online as friends, she has become a better person since we split up and has realised that problems dont go away when you fall asleep.
she is improoving but I wont go back to that lifestyle as I promised myself I wont put up with that lifestyle again .
I have respect for My Female friends and try and do the things that make them feel like royality.
Im not a millionair and currently unemployed but I live comfortable, You dont need to be rich to make a girl feel like she is.
I Live alone in my own house and know how much work it takes to look after yourself and your home.

I only read the first page so im not sure about the other 9 pages of posts but just wanted to let IVY know some good people that arnt abusive, rude, and know how to treat women are here and out there in the real world, and she may even know the person that is her soul mate without even knowing it.
Some real guys are out there somewhere,
Im hopeing my soul mate is out there as well.

[XRchic]

I was a battle scarred, single parent of two kids, physically way past my prime and alone for 8 years.... never thought I would get anywhere. I found my current partner after 8 years alone, and he is the most fantastic person I could have ever have hoped to find and now we have a perfect baby boy called Toby who is now nearly 3 months old.

I would go so far as to say that I would willingly go back in time and go through all the **** again, if I knew that I would be here, right now, as a result.

Sometimes when you give up and just get on with life and stop hating yourself, and make the best of what you have, good things can happen to you!

[347_XR8]

Chivillary is not dead, far from it! HOWEVER.....it seems that the "nice guy" does finish last. Recently i was seeing someone and she said that i was to nice and that she hadn't never been treated so good. I was the one who asked her out, and i'm usually a shy as buggary person around women and i was literally tripping over my words when asking her out. I didn;t see it as treating her good, i saw it as normal. But due to un-forseen events she had to call it off and she didnt want to.
I still can't stop thinking about her, but thats another thing.
It seems that there are some real A*******s out there, that do the "treat em mean, keep em keen" motto. This is NOT the way to treat women. i agree what even happened to the days of the guy paying for the movie, surprising the lady or even opening a door.
It seems that girls do go for the rebel style guy. I've seen relationships where the guys treats the girl like rubbish and she comes running back to him. On the other end of the scale i see the guy treat the girl the way she deserves and she usually ends up leaving in fear of hurting the guy.

[mutanti]

I havnt given Up XR Chic
Im Just taking each day as it comes.
I waiting for my Good Thing to show up.
Untill then Ill just keep on keeping on...
Deep down Im probally a little depressed about my previous
relationship not working out after 6 years of trying.
But Life goes on.
Ill just have to keep on smiling as it always makes people around me feel good which in turn makes me feel good too.

[XRchic]

Originally Posted by mutanti

I havnt given Up XR Chic
Im Just taking each day as it comes.
I waiting for my Good Thing to show up.
Untill then Ill just keep on keeping on...
Deep down Im probally a little depressed about my previous
relationship not working out after 6 years of trying.
But Life goes on.
Ill just have to keep on smiling as it always makes people around me feel good which in turn makes me feel good too.

That was bad timing, wasnt it mate? I posted mine just after your post without having seen it.

I think you have the right attitude

[Sourbastard]

I dont see the point of dating then trying to force yourself on a woman at the end of the night.

Especially when another man proves a far more worthy challenge.

[Poison Ivy]

I just wanted to make it clear, I never posted this thread because I wanted to find that someone special. I posted it because I wanted some guys to know that a bit of personal hygiene & respect for yourself & the lady goes a long way. It’s refreshing to see that there are a lot of guys out there who feel the same way.

I am quite content at being single, its just that I have had a few dates of late where it makes me wonder where the 'effort' so to speak has gone. I always be myself, but I do make sure that I look & smell nice prior to leaving home. The cost of my outfit or the guys is irrelevant, so long as the clothes are clean & tidy & you feel comfortable in them.

[kooky]

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

I just wanted to make it clear, I never posted this thread because I wanted to find that someone special. I posted it because I wanted some guys to know that a bit of personal hygiene & respect for yourself & the lady goes a long way. It’s refreshing to see that there are a lot of guys out there who feel the same way.

I am quite content at being single, its just that I have had a few dates of late where it makes me wonder where the 'effort' so to speak has gone. I always be myself, but I do make sure that I look & smell nice prior to leaving home. The cost of my outfit or the guys is irrelevant, so long as the clothes are clean & tidy & you feel comfortable in them.

What I am trying to figure out is why would you accept dates if they were unshaven or shabby anyway? If it is not to your liking. Or do they misrepresent themselves in the first place?

[Poison Ivy]

Originally Posted by kooky

What I am trying to figure out is why would you accept dates if they were unshaven or shabby anyway? If it is not to your liking. Or do they misrepresent themselves in the first place?

Well the one you are referring to, it was our second date, first date we met for lunch on a monday so he was dressed for work, hence being clean shaven I guess. But when we met on a weekend he was unshaven, now I know how annoying shaving is, cause us girls shave our legs. I did ask him if he was growing a beard because this might have been the case (which wouldn't have worried me) but he wasn't, he said 'I just couldn't be bothered shaving'

[ED Classic]

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

I’m a single woman who is in her mid 20’s, I have a good job, a nice car, great friends & family, I have a stable job & I’m honest & upfront, I have no baggage & a great sense of humor but yet I find it harder & harder to meet a guy who wants to put in the effort to get to know me before he starts thinking below the belt.
.

Hmm Intimadating already...Pardon the pun

[brenx]

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

Well the one you are referring to, it was our second date, first date we met for lunch on a monday so he was dressed for work, hence being clean shaven I guess. But when we met on a weekend he was unshaven, now I know how annoying shaving is, cause us girls shave our legs. I did ask him if he was growing a beard because this might have been the case (which wouldn't have worried me) but he wasn't, he said 'I just couldn't be bothered shaving'

I'd like to think you just didn't write him off because he was unshaven on the weekend. I'd like to think it was because of various other reasons. I know plenty of women who aren't clean shaven all the time. I'm sure you've done it yourself? Doesn't seem like you did give him a chance though. Plenty of people have flaws inc yourself I'm sure. It's the best part about being human Having flaws because no-one is perfect. There are just acceptable tolerances.

I used to wear shirts and ties to work all the time. The last thing I wanted to do was wear the same on my days off.

[kooky]

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

Well the one you are referring to, it was our second date, first date we met for lunch on a monday so he was dressed for work, hence being clean shaven I guess. But when we met on a weekend he was unshaven, now I know how annoying shaving is, cause us girls shave our legs. I did ask him if he was growing a beard because this might have been the case (which wouldn't have worried me) but he wasn't, he said 'I just couldn't be bothered shaving'

Fair enough, I don't shave my legs.......I wax

[Poison Ivy]

Originally Posted by brenx

I'd like to think you just didn't write him off because he was unshaven on the weekend. I'd like to think it was because of various other reasons. I know plenty of women who aren't clean shaven all the time. I'm sure you've done it yourself? Doesn't seem like you did give him a chance though. Plenty of people have flaws inc yourself I'm sure. It's the best part about being human Having flaws because no-one is perfect. There are just acceptable tolerances.

I used to wear shirts and ties to work all the time. The last thing I wanted to do was wear the same on my days off.

No please don't think that I wrote him of because of that. I haven't actually said that I did write him off, I just wondered where the 'effort' went.

[DJL351]

Originally Posted by mutanti

I havnt given Up XR Chic
Im Just taking each day as it comes.
I waiting for my Good Thing to show up.
Untill then Ill just keep on keeping on...
Deep down Im probally a little depressed about my previous
relationship not working out after 6 years of trying.
But Life goes on.
Ill just have to keep on smiling as it always makes people around me feel good which in turn makes me feel good too.

I think I can say for sure that your time will come.
Never really understood it myself when friend would say it to me.... now it all make sense.

If I had not been thrown to the curb, I would never have know the true meaning of love....
I would have never gone to the pub to drown my sorrows,
I'd never met up with some friends who introduced me to a wonderful girl.... and she would have never shown me the light.
And therefore I would have never jumped on-line and never met my wife.

[eb2fairmont]

Originally Posted by Poison Ivy

What has happened to the days when guys asked girls out? When a guy picks a girl up from her house & drops her off without expecting something else? Are these days dead? What has happened to dating?

I think it would be nice for a guy to put some effort in. And when I say effort I mean, nice clean clothes, a shave, aftershave or cologne, deodorant (this should not be an effort but surprisingly to some it is). Is this asking too much? I don’t think so because I’m sure if a girl turned up to a date without any deodorant on the guy would be doing a runner in no time.

I’ve also noticed a rapid decrease in guys having the guts to ask a girl out, who gives a rats if you get rejected, at least you’re giving it a go, 9 times out of 10 I’m sure the girl will be flattered & say yes. If it doesn’t work out, don’t dismiss the girl, she might have a friend who is ideal for you. I have set up many friends, that have turned into long term relationships or marriages but if a guy acts like a jerk or treats me disrespectfully there’s no way I’d want to set him up with someone else.

So single guys out there, please shed some light on what your thoughts are on what I’ve said, because I’m rapidly starting to think that there are no decent single gentlemen out there anymore. And before anyone says I’m after a metrosexual, no that is not what I want, I just want a guy who thinks that its worth a little extra effort to impress a girl.

You're not asking for too much but let's have another look at the dating game:

1. Guys get put off by rejection. I got rejected a lot as a teenager simply because I was pudgy, and I wear that mental scar constantly. I'm also not pudgy now either, whereas a lot of those girls are now. Revenge is sweet.

2. I get continually annoyed by this equality cr ap. One of the lovely things brought to you by your mother's generation. Do you want the full silver service, only to tell a guy at some point hey I can do this myself. Give me a break. The key here is that guys don't know exactly what you want, because women as a whole don't tell them, without resorting to a huge diatribe about anything. Moral? Stick to the point.

3. SEX...ah yes the worlds greatest game. If most women are honest with themselves they enjoy it as much as guys do. But, there's more stigma attached to it for them. But since when did "getting some" from a guys point of view be as easy as that? Sure guys can be crude about it, but again stick to the point. Media portrayals of dating and single women also have an influence here too, often in a negative way.

You're problem is that you're rooted in some sort of ancient chivalry game. Be prepared to go get what you want and be open and honest about it. Nothing is ever going to come your way unless you chase it.


David