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Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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13-01-2007, 10:08 PM
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#1 | ||
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Former BTIKD
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
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The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. ----------- To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
__________________
Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
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13-01-2007, 10:11 PM
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#2 | ||
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GT-P #0336
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,360
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Hahaha funny
__________________
 2003 FULLY OPTIONED MERCURY SILVER BA GT-P BUILD #336  REVERSE CAMERA - SAT NAV - PIONEER SUB & AMP - SUNROOF - DVD PLAYER - CUSTOM DUAL EXHAUST ~Tuned By Bluepower Racing~ |
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13-01-2007, 10:13 PM
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#3 | ||
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Merry Xmas To All
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melton South, Moderator: ORSM Club
Posts: 3,413
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Gold... Love it... :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
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13-01-2007, 10:15 PM
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#4 | ||
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2007 Ford Focus Zetec
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 431
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Hahaha good stuff!
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13-01-2007, 10:46 PM
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#5 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lake Macquarie, Newcastle NSW
Posts: 3,164
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Legendary shite their mate!
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13-01-2007, 11:02 PM
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#6 | ||
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4dr rs2000mk2 & ELXR6
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: mildura, Australia
Posts: 15
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how true is that. and they say the way to a mans heart is though his stomach. a little lower he he
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13-01-2007, 11:17 PM
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#7 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,357
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Aint it the truth though!
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14-01-2007, 12:00 AM
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#8 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
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Haha, that's rad.
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14-01-2007, 12:18 AM
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#9 | |||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,357
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Quote:
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14-01-2007, 12:39 AM
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#10 | |||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
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Quote:
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14-01-2007, 12:50 AM
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#11 | |||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,357
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Quote:
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14-01-2007, 08:18 PM
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#12 | ||
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The Vengeful One
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tazzy
Posts: 12,762
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HAHAHA, one of the best jokes ive read in a long time!
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15-01-2007, 01:11 AM
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#13 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Gren A Waverrey
Posts: 2,356
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Men are easier to please. It is a fact.
For a women to earn 100 turn-on points, she only has to say, "I wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you right now" (perhaps in a more sensual fashion) and you've got shoes under the bed. Men only need the slightest hint, and they're away! For a man to earn points is a lot more complicated. You give her a rose, that's 1 point. You give her chocolates, that's one point. You tell her that you're interested in who she is, that's one point. You mention her breasts are nice and big, that's -100 points. Read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." We are very different. That's why I like my cat. Give it food, and you've got 1000 points. |
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15-01-2007, 01:57 AM
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#14 | ||
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Force Fed Fords
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Victoria
Posts: 5,556
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Awesome, I like, it's nice!
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2021 Focus ST-3 Mountune Enhanced |
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15-01-2007, 03:02 AM
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#15 | |||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
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Quote:
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15-01-2007, 06:56 AM
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#16 | ||
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V8 Ghia & BF2 XR6 + Wagon
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 1,569
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Good stuff.
Not often that a joke is posted that isn't a re-post etc. |
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15-01-2007, 08:36 PM
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#17 | ||||
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my other ride is the bus.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Under a rock.
Posts: 1,367
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Quote:
 : Whatever keeps you warm at night...
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1994 ED Fairmont Ghia (Retired to the shed...) 1999 AU Futura + Lots of Land Rovers Quote:
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15-01-2007, 08:37 PM
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#18 | ||||
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my other ride is the bus.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Under a rock.
Posts: 1,367
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Quote:
:ticking:
__________________
1994 ED Fairmont Ghia (Retired to the shed...) 1999 AU Futura + Lots of Land Rovers Quote:
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16-01-2007, 02:09 PM
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#19 | |||
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Former BTIKD
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
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Quote:
__________________
Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
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16-01-2007, 02:21 PM
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#20 | |||
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FirstOnRaceDay
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: NEWCASTLE
Posts: 1,243
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Quote:
haha great joke I think I have seen it in a street machine book before
__________________
MY BRAND NEW RIDE NC Fairlane GHIA Series II I6. Mods. 2.5" cat back Clarion HU Soundstream speakers amp and subs Lowered DL LTD rims  : thats it!For the moment...  :
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16-01-2007, 02:42 PM
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#21 | |||
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FORD FREAK
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rockhampton
Posts: 1,750
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Quote:
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JUST LOVE THAT V8 SOUND, RUMBLE, MUSIC! |
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16-01-2007, 08:11 PM
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#22 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
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sorry i just had to have a sneak peak sorry im a girl but that is true about most woman!! im different though.. A guy doesnt have to be romantic all the time... dont bother me if he doesnt do housework... insides for a female outside for men!! and i think ive read it in a street machine magazine before.. does that bother any guys ive been on this bit here??
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16-01-2007, 08:28 PM
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#23 | |||
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Weezland
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney,workshop mod
Posts: 7,216
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Quote:
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17-01-2007, 04:03 PM
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#24 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
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you wouldnt know unless u really had a chat now wouldnt ya lol ;)
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17-01-2007, 04:32 PM
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#25 | |||
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Official AFF conservative
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 3,549
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Quote:
__________________
A cup half empty... but full of euphoria. |
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17-01-2007, 05:13 PM
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#26 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
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how can a small girl like me carry heavy things then?
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17-01-2007, 05:17 PM
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#27 | |||
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Official AFF conservative
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 3,549
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Quote:
__________________
A cup half empty... but full of euphoria. |
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17-01-2007, 09:04 PM
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#28 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
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why get someone else to pay for me when i can easily pay for things myself... depends on the ages i guess id hire
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17-01-2007, 09:08 PM
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#29 | ||
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Cast Iron fan
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Townsville
Posts: 1,159
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absolute gold
__________________
I have a Corolla |
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17-01-2007, 11:05 PM
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#30 | ||
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carefactor zero
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: s/e melbourne
Posts: 423
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Geeee, when I went to the wives store I thought it was a good thing when they were having a bargain basement sale
Now there is no sex & no money |
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The Husband Store...Joke, men only:)
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