Favourite Simpsons quotes.

[lv619]

What is your ONE favourite Simpsons quote?


Mine is when Homer is in Mr. Burns' office:
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

:

[XPcoupe]

I would have to say my is

1.
Barney in the Moe's:
I am not an acholalic..... Who spilt beer in this ashtray.
2.
Barney in the Moe's drinking beer from the tap:
My hearts stopped (long pause) O therrreeee it goes. (contiunes drink from the tap)

[FordFan86]

mmm lately....
Homer: "and then i said - Lets get out of these wet clothes, and into a dry martini" hahaha

my favourite from anything is "you know.... you could put somebodies eye out with that thing"
:rofl:

[MAD]

ralph wiggum - "it tastes like burning"

Cheif wiggum - "put out an APB on a Ustwis R Dewoh"

[Psycho Chicken]

Homer: What about Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Bacon?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork?
Lisa: Dad those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Suuuuuure Lisa, a wonderful magical animal!!

Marge: Maybe you could take joy from the fact you're making people happy.
Homer: OOOOH look at me! I'm MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY! I'm the magical man from happy land! In a gum drop house on lollypop laaannnneeeeeeee.
Homer: Oh by the way, I was being sarcastic.

Ralph: I bent my Wookie...

Guy at post office: Alright Mr Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I doooon't know....

[Racecraft]

Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

That fat comic book dude: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity...

Apu: Look at that outrageous markup! You magnificent bastard, I salute you!

[paul7v7]

oh my fav topic, where do i start?


Moe

Man you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch'em in the face, and for what?

Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!


Homer

Marge it takes two people to lie. One to lie and one to listen

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! ... I gotta go, my weiner kids are listening.

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'


FROM THE WITNESS PROTECTION EPSIODE
(Agent): Now when I say 'Hello Mr Thompson' and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
(Homer): No problem.
(Agent): Hello Mr Thompson (and presses Homer's foot)
[Homer has a blank stare, and then looks at the other agent and whispers loudly...]
(Homer): I think he's talking to you.

[svo347]

BART
Get bent

[Cheahman]

Ralph Wiggum - Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

[FordFan86]

Originally Posted by paul7v7

FROM THE WITNESS PROTECTION EPSIODE
(Agent): Now when I say 'Hello Mr Thompson' and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
(Homer): No problem.
(Agent): Hello Mr Thompson (and presses Homer's foot)
[Homer has a blank stare, and then looks at the other agent and whispers loudly...]
(Homer): I think he's talking to you.

: thats a classic one

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Ahh, The Simpsons, so many quality quotes, it's hard to pick just a few... So here's a few random ones that make me laugh.

Homer: "No TV and no beer make Homer something something..."
Marge: "Go crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if I do!" (Homer makes various crazy sounds)

Scully: "Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?"
Homer: "Yes." (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

Homer: "From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way."
Bart: "Isn't that just the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yeah, but faster!"

Homer: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
Marge: "That's because you were drunk!"
Homer: "And how!"

Homer: "Lisa, would you like a donut?"
Lisa: "No thanks. Do you have any fruit?"
Homer: "This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit."

That'll do... For now...

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Homer: "We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup."

Bart: "Argh, my ovaries!"

[Olympus]

Barney : Oh oh spaghettio !
Homer immitating Mr. Burns mother on the phone, still cracks me up thinkin' about it.

[tickford2001]

ahhh its like reliving the NYE party! between greg emma paul and warren we managed to relive just about every simpsons episode i think!

[blue fairy]

Abe: All right, I admit it. I am the Lindbergh baby. Wah, wah. Goo goo. I miss my fly-fly, dada.
Man: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
Abe: A little from column ‘A’ a little from column ‘B.’

Burns: "I bring you... love."
Lenny: "It brings love, don't let it get away!"
Carl: "Break it's legs so it won't get away!"

[rodderz]

The one where Bart wins the radio contest and has the choice between the elephant or $10,000

Homer says "with $10,000, we'de be millionaires!"

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Originally Posted by tickford2001

ahhh its like reliving the NYE party! between greg emma paul and warren we managed to relive just about every simpsons episode i think!

Sounds like my brother and I, we can quote entire episodes between the two of us... Some find it amusing, others sad and/or scary... :

[masters24]

What Do you consider to be the BEST EVER Raplh Wiggum Line???

Go Banana???

or

My Cat's Breath Smells Like Cat Food???

or

My Mouth Tastes Like Burning???

Or Tell me more new ones that rock

[Franky]

Hahahaha all these quotes are giving me memories...

RALPH
My cats mouth smells like cat food

Hello Supernintendo Charmers

HOMER
White people have names like Lenny and Black people have names like Carl

Lisa: Everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it. Is there something wrong with me?
Homer: Yes, honey.
Lisa: Then what should I do?
Homer: Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle.

MOE
Geez, sleep with a chick once and it costs me half a million dollars!

Moe: (answering the phone) Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. (calling) Hugh Jass! Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
Hugh: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone. (hands over the receiver)
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: (surprised) Uh, hi.
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a crank call that sort of backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh: All right. Better luck next time, (hangs up) gee what a nice fellow

[masters24]

Guys, I am sorry, I just notices the simpsons quote thread just then as I got out of here, i didn't mean to make two threads of the same thing... My bad, honest... Sorry once again

[FordFan86]

ohh theres another one... the episode where lisa helps mr burns get his money back... the fishing one...
anyway the end of it... something like
Homer: gee we really coulda used that $100,000?
Lisa: ah dad 10%? of 10billion? dollars isnt $100,000?
PA System: CODE BLUE CODE BLUE

:::

[FordFan86]

I'm not allowed in the deep end.
thats where i saw the leprachaun and he told me to burn things.

[menace1]

mine was when skinner was tied up in a sports ball sack . he asked his pet hamster help him out of it
skinner just chew through my ball bag : ha ha h

[XR6Gal]

Homer: I'm gonna pull an all nighter for my daughter! MARGE! Go put on a pot of coffee! Drink it! And start making hamburgers!

Manjula: Oh, Apu, you keep scoring while my back is turned. Are you sure you're not cheating.
Apu: Now Manjula, do you want me to find another partner?
Marge: No, no! No no lets just keep playing. What's the score?
Homer: Dirty-Love, I mean, Thirty-Love, I mean, anyone for penis? Oh! I'll just get the shuttle cock.


You can get the quotes & listen to them here: http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml :1syellow1

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Kent Brockman: "We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres."
Homer: "How do you come up with such witty remarks?"
(Camera focuses in on ear plug/mic)
Guy in the van: "I guess you could say its my racket."
Kent Brockman: "I guess you could say I'm Iraqi."
Homer: "Get off my property."

Homer: "You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." (Hmm, I won't comment)

Ralph: "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

Wiggum: "Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown."
Friday: "That's 'Homer J. Simpson', Chief. You're reading it upside down."
Wiggum: "Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros."
Friday: "Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet."

Laywer: "Well, what about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say Die, Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob: "No, that's German for 'The Bart, The.'"
Parole Judge: "No one who speaks German can be an evil man!"

I could keep going forever...

Another good site for Simpsons quotes is http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/

[FordFan86]

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

I could keep going forever

then why dont ya cry about it... saddlebags :P
not that u were complaining... i just love ace ventura

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Originally Posted by FordFan86

then why dont ya cry about it... saddlebags :P
not that u were complaining... i just love ace ventura

Hehehe, The Simpsons is funnier, much more material to quote from :P

BTW, is that a dare? :P

[FordFan86]

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

BTW, is that a dare? :P

mmm maybe... you can take it whatever way you want :P

[Franky]

Nah rekon I laughed more during the Ace Ventura movies but Simpsons has a wider variety of quotes

Couple more: :

Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

Originally Posted by FordFan86

mmm maybe... you can take it whatever way you want :P

Hehehehe, in that case...

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son. "

Ralph: "Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office."

Chief Wiggum: "Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!"

Bart: "Take him away, boys."
Chief Wiggum: "Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys."
Lou: "What was that, chief?"
Chief Wiggum: "Do what the kid says. "

Marge: "My name is Marge Simpson and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first."
Mayor Quimby: "Chat away. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards. "

Bart: "What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding..."

Bart: "Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."