Another Funny

[Danny]

I had this emailed to me today. I hope you enjoy it!


"Cucumber and Celery"

A bloke is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says

"Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,

"Christ!" he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I
shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up me rear end??"

"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher" :

Cheers,
-Dan

[big_pete]

old but still good

heres a couple i gto today

When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded that I take her
out to some place very, very expensive...................













.
So I took her to a petrol station!!!!!!!




--------------
Little Johnny strikes again.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said
proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civic spirit
and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good,"said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I
explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current
events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full
of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher. "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough
tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip
& Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They ALL said the
same thing. 'Hey, this tastes like !'
Then I would say, 'It is . Wanna buy a toothbrush?'"

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[svo347]

Ahahahahah nice one fellas .