Re Evaluating Life ??

gtfpv · 16-03-2007, 01:06 PM

Well it's time to re evaluate again . my wife and i have had 2 kids . then we were debt free 7 years ago after paying everything off . i was only 31 and wife was 27. we had options then . the path we chose was for wife to return to work . and build our dream home . which we did . we went back into debt . because of my good full time income and wife part time better than average income we have lived comfortable ever since . my wifes income covers the mortgage and GT Payments which are consolidated into the mortgage .
my wife has resigned , and needs a good break . she wants to be a stay at home mum .
which brings another phase . now we have my income and a mortgage to pay . we can cover it . it's not big by todays standard .
i'm torn on what to do . she hasnt left yet so it wont effect until after july.
THE GT IS STAYING .
plenty of events may take place . we may just live and be OK , she may return to work , or i may increase my salary . the thing is with my income we will be OK . THATS IT . i'm not into living ok and retiring rich ( whats the point ) . dont know what to do
example : with financial advice i could probably replace her income by going into diverse investment debts'
or we could sell , move and down grade to a ordinary house in a cheaper area . and be just about debt free or have a small debt . / or we could sell and bank the equity and invest it elsewhere which would increadse our income , while we rent somewhere .
i'm buggered on what to do ?? one option that i dont like is renting this house out as it is a immaculate delicate house that could easily be ruined with dogs/ and lack of care etc .

any suggestionms welcome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

robjh80 · 16-03-2007, 01:19 PM

Sell up, pay off the mortgage, downgrade to what is affordable on the single income and allow your wife the time she deserves to fulfill the role of the stay at home mum which is obviously what she wants.........."cut ya cloth accordingly" and be happy with what you have and and be thankfull in the knowledge that you are a whole lot better off than most.

pauljh74 · 16-03-2007, 01:23 PM

Would the missus consider dropping back to part time?
As you said, it's your dream home, so you might as well stay put as you'll blow thousands on fees for real estate agents, stamp duty, moving house. Probably best you stay put until the kids move out, then consider downsizing - which sounds like it is some way off.

**Charliewool** · 16-03-2007, 01:32 PM

Get a divorce.. Give her the house, Give her your super, pay child-support and then take up residence under the nearest bridge... BUT, DO NOT let the GT go!
Seriously though mate.. At 38 your doing pretty well!
Stop stressing over it, and let her have a go at the stay at home mum bit,. Who knows, in a years time she might be bored 3hitless & longing to go back part-time.
The relationship & harmony at home is the really precious thing here! If you have to cut back a little to compensate.. So be it!

GK · 16-03-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robjh80

Sell up, pay off the mortgage, downgrade to what is affordable on the single income and allow your wife the time she deserves to fulfill the role of the stay at home mum which is obviously what she wants.........."cut ya cloth accordingly" and be happy with what you have and and be thankfull in the knowledge that you are a whole lot better off than most.

This is along the lines of what I'd say.

No point having a dream house if the repayments mean you need to give up lots of other things along the way.

All the best with your decision.

GK

gtfpv · 16-03-2007, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charliewool

Get a divorce.. Give her the house, Give her your super, pay child-support and then take up residence under the nearest bridge... BUT, DO NOT let the GT go!
Seriously though mate.. At 38 your doing pretty well!
Stop stressing over it, and let her have a go at the stay at home mum bit,. Who knows, in a years time she might be bored 3hitless & longing to go back part-time.
The relationship & harmony at home is the really precious thing here! If you have to cut back a little to compensate.. So be it!

hahaha you dont know how close you are to the truth . hahahah last year almost . hahahahaha .

so far 3 differant replies and all worth a though . cheers .
i wont be doing anything in a hurry .

**Charliewool** · 16-03-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

hahaha you dont know how close you are to the truth . hahahah last year almost . hahahahaha .

so far 3 differant replies and all worth a though . cheers .
i wont be doing anything in a hurry .

Mate!... Just been there and done it.. Believe me!

Holden Man · 16-03-2007, 02:01 PM

I may be wrong but if your wife dosent work then I think you can, through salary sacrafice or something like that lower your taxable income? I would talk to an accountant.....unless you are one, and give it some time before selling your house. If you work long hours etc then I reckon there is nothing better than coming home to a place you and your family feel comfortable in.
It will take a bit of adjusting to a new income level but what you might miss on material things perhaps your family life may get even better, Hows that saying go...Best things in life are for free.

ah yeah except GT's

GXL078 · 16-03-2007, 02:14 PM

We put all our savings in my wife's name. The interest is HER income as well as the rent she gets form her fully paid off unit.

**FTE217** · 16-03-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

hahaha you dont know how close you are to the truth . hahahah last year almost . hahahahaha .

so far 3 differant replies and all worth a though . cheers .
i wont be doing anything in a hurry .

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ so why get your head all muddled up now ?
Oh that's right losing that extra $$$.
Can we live ? No more loose $$ lol....

I have gone through this, 3 kids mortgage,1 private school another to follow.
T3 drinks more than 5 drunks lol 2nd house and reno's coming up !
My wife was a PA for years and with my package all so good.

In hindsight after 18mths on my income, less stress, the bills are paid, not running around to daycare's as back up, kids really happy Mum is able to turn up for school activities, eldest doing better with Mum able to help with homework etc...
Family meals at a decent hour compared to 8pm.
Importantly husband and wife not stressed and family more important.

Did we need the extra $$, I'd be a liar if I said No but we didn't Miss it.
My package has increased since but funnily we still manage our lives the same as we didn't have it so the extra goes to knock off the mortgage.

See how you go the first 6mths with the wife out of work then reasse.
One thing I know my wife say's she work's harder looking after us guys and the house than work and I have to agree, I love going to the office those kids drive me nuts by Sunday night lol.....

robjh80 · 16-03-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluedriver

In hindsight after 18mths on my income, less stress, the bills are paid, not running around to daycare's as back up, kids really happy Mum is able to turn up for school activities, eldest doing better with Mum able to help with homework etc...
Family meals at a decent hour compared to 8pm.
Importantly husband and wife not stressed and family more important.

All good points "Bluedriver"..............my missus gave up work the moment she fell pregnant with our daughter some 9 years ago and hasn't worked since, we have effectively lost out on around $350,000 in lost wages by her staying at home over that time.

The flip side of this is that she has been there every step of the way to see the kids growing up, comfort them when they were sick or needed a band-aid when they fell over and hurt a knee or whatever the case may be.

She has been there to watch their proud faces when they have had a little school performance during the day or watch them running around the school oval on sports day not to mention being there at the gate to pick them up every day when the school bell rings, take them home, get them dinner at a decent hour, help them with their homework, read their favourite book to them etc etc........."you can't put a dollar value on that, it's simply priceless."

XR6TickfordBoy · 16-03-2007, 05:10 PM

My point would be with robjh80, the kids will benefit from having a full-time mother. At the moment u may have money but the difference a full-time mother will make to a child's develoment may be greater!

Kryton · 16-03-2007, 05:50 PM

get her to sell stuff on ebay.
get up at 6am on a saturday, go to garage sales and buy a heap of stuff. youll soon figure out whats worth buying.
list a few items each day so there is a constant stream of cash coming in.
keep up the supplies by going to garage sales every weekend.
you only need an hour or so a day answering questions, wrapping items and posting them.
she is at home which is what she wants, wage is still coming in and it gives her something to do.
i did this for 1 month, just listing 1 item a day (week days) and pulled in over $500 for that month (minus fees) without even trying.
sure it wont fully replace her wage, but its a lot better than no extra wage coming in.
give it some thought.

XAGSV8 · 16-03-2007, 05:57 PM

I never thought I would say this but sell the GT as you can't live in that(if this allows you to stay in your current house).

Go baby Go · 16-03-2007, 10:51 PM

Why rent somewhere when it sounds as if this is your dream home and you don't really want to settle for something else? OK, so it (moving out) may pay off the mortgage, but what's the point if when you finally move back in, realise it isn't in as good condition, and need to throw $$ at it you originally "saved" by moving out in the first place.

Sit down and do the maths.... even humming along OK is better than having all the cash in the world and regretting you weren't there for kids moments...... no money will get those back......

robjh80 · 16-03-2007, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davway

get her to sell stuff on ebay.
get up at 6am on a saturday, go to garage sales and buy a heap of stuff. youll soon figure out whats worth buying.
list a few items each day so there is a constant stream of cash coming in.
keep up the supplies by going to garage sales every weekend.
you only need an hour or so a day answering questions, wrapping items and posting them.
she is at home which is what she wants, wage is still coming in and it gives her something to do.
i did this for 1 month, just listing 1 item a day (week days) and pulled in over $500 for that month (minus fees) without even trying.
sure it wont fully replace her wage, but its a lot better than no extra wage coming in.
give it some thought.

I worked with a bloke who's missus did exactly that, she was buying rare books in garage sales, second hand stores etc and selling them on ebay, she did of course know all about books and what was worth money and what wasn't.

She only did it as a hobby more than anything else, only did it part time, apparantly it gave her a bit of "pocket money"...............she made nearly $25,000 last year out of it.........."nice bit of pocket money if ya can get it."

GTP534 · 17-03-2007, 12:02 PM

Hi gtfpv,

You say you can still manage the mortgage on your income. My advice would be to stay where you are and don't sell unless you absolutely have no choice, it's your dream home. Your wife can have time to be there for the children, and can always return to work at some time in the future. Staying there will provide stability for the children. Selling up and moving will create stress for the whole family. Hold on to the GT if you can, depreciation is a killer as these cars are not that old.

Jim

Scott · 17-03-2007, 12:25 PM

It's funny how doing well brings it's own troubles hey? My motto is bite off more than you can chew and chew like hell. I don't have kids though. My suggestion is before she stops working, set your budget at the limit of your income with some space or solution for those curveballs that life can throw. Live it for 3 months and evaluate from there. Atleast you won't be going forward with no real comprehension of where you really spend (or need to spend) your money.

3 months will fly by - anything less will be too short to be able to judge your trends. We did this and it really helped build clarity into our roadmap.

Good luck!

gtfpv · 17-03-2007, 11:57 PM

thanks for the replies . it isa great to be able to talk and get advice off people who have done exactly this .

chich · 18-03-2007, 05:58 PM

You mention above that you can manage on a single income so i wouldn't worry too much unless you've made a habit of eating out at restaurants every Friday & Saturday night!

In regards to being a stay at home mum i completely agree that a mother needs to be there for her kids every step of the way, but i believe its also a good idea for her to work part time whenever she can to give her a break from 'home duties'. This gives her the opportunity to get out of the house, mingle with people, stay up to speed with advancements in her field etc and actually feel like she is contributing financially.

WASP · 18-03-2007, 06:26 PM

First of all don't make any drastic decisions.
I think is wonderful that the kids have their mum at home. Once their all grown up it's too late.
You now need to think smarter about how you use your money. Time to make your money work harder for you and your family. Priorities what's most important to you i.e. having a nice home, car, your health, your children’s education etc. Downgrade the things that aren't that important (there's usually lots of these, usually small items that collectively amount to a few hundred dollars a week like having fast food more than once a week, making your lunch for work rather than buying it etc. Basically get out of the habit of just spending money at will and make yourself a budget and stick with it. This doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things, just plan for them instead. Have your wage all go directly into your mortgage and live off your credit card, (clear it always before the interest period applies). This takes some discipline but is well worth it. Try to avoid carrying cash around with you as it's a shocking way to blow money without knowing where it actually went. If you can stick to this even on one income you will pay off your mortgage in no time and can use your line of credit to get on with the business of actually living, not just existing. Its all about planning Frank and sticking with it, nothing else.

Sorry about the brain dump, but I hope that helps. I can tell you now if you have come THIS far it's all going to be fine from here on mate.

Colville

gtfpv · 24-06-2007, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

Well it's time to re evaluate again . my wife and i have had 2 kids . then we were debt free 7 years ago after paying everything off . i was only 31 and wife was 27. we had options then . the path we chose was for wife to return to work . and build our dream home . which we did . we went back into debt . because of my good full time income and wife part time better than average income we have lived comfortable ever since . my wifes income covers the mortgage and GT Payments which are consolidated into the mortgage .
my wife has resigned , and needs a good break . she wants to be a stay at home mum .
which brings another phase . now we have my income and a mortgage to pay . we can cover it . it's not big by todays standard .
i'm torn on what to do . she hasnt left yet so it wont effect until after july.
THE GT IS STAYING .
plenty of events may take place . we may just live and be OK , she may return to work , or i may increase my salary . the thing is with my income we will be OK . THATS IT . i'm not into living ok and retiring rich ( whats the point ) . dont know what to do
example : with financial advice i could probably replace her income by going into diverse investment debts'
or we could sell , move and down grade to a ordinary house in a cheaper area . and be just about debt free or have a small debt . / or we could sell and bank the equity and invest it elsewhere which would increadse our income , while we rent somewhere .
i'm buggered on what to do ?? one option that i dont like is renting this house out as it is a immaculate delicate house that could easily be ruined with dogs/ and lack of care etc .

any suggestionms welcome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just an update she went back to work , for the same company, 4 days a week for 6 weeks ( which she hates . then 2 days a week school hours there after , closer to home too .
we dont have birth control , and tonight we had a little slip up . mmmm . change is constant . .....

Scott · 24-06-2007, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

we dont have birth control , and tonight we had a little slip up...

Geez mate, take most women weeks to find out they're in pup. Congrats, here's hoping for 10 fingers & toes!